The Funeral

Saturday, 09 February, Year 5 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

The Funerali debuts with a corpse. That's actually a great way to start a film. Subsequently we discover the corpse used to belong to some shithead. That's not quite so great a way to continue a film.

The shithead, Walken's character and that dorky fat guy that's always in B movies (I seriously don't understand why they keep casting him as a criminal, he's decidedly grocery store clerk / junior high coach) are brothers. Some catholic shit, they say hail mary a lot. They also scream and brawl all the time, they abuse the women yet these remain uppity nevertheless (which is wrong, by the way : either you're in the sort relationship where the woman is on her knees in which case she knows this aforehand without you having to scream at her whenever things come to a head, or else you're not in that sort of relationship in which case bawing like an orangoutan when things come to a head is a terrible waste of breath).

The shithead got himself killed by means of speaking out of line to a sharp dressin' gangster. Also arson and alienation of affection. The general plot is that some factory owner wants to fire some workers and cut the wages of the rest by 40%. He doesn't see why he'd need anyone's go ahead to do this (and neither do I) but nevertheless he throws some leftovers to the three brothers, in the shape of a thousand dollars. Two brothers are more than happy to get something at all, which is right and proper. The shithead has issues with submission, and also with groking his proper place in this world (no money, no call). And so he gets killed, which is also right and proper.

Other than that there's a bunch of fluff. The only notable part is where Walken tells the corpse it looks better now than it ever did. I guess dead shitheads have that astonishing property. The other only notable part is where fat grocery store clerk guy is at some orgy and pays an underage chick five bucks to blow him, after which he has a change of heart. She's pretty, but she's a child! The pubescent childwoman person is predictably not entranced with this, what does he mean she's a child! She's a woman by Gawd! And so she offers to fuck him for ten. He flies in a strange rage and gives her twenty, you know why ? Because she's sold her soul! and thusly proceeds to roughly rape a rather scared child (previously exploratory woman) which he now sees as a filthy tramp.

And then there's an entire discussion of theology and some trampy chick's ideals (she's attented some unspecified Manhattan college for two whole years so therefore absolutely she has ideas and knows how to read books and generally speaking matters dontcha know) and whether boys resemble fathers or not and whether rugged individualists are actually just criminals unable to overcome their heartless, illiterate upbringing. Some do, some don't. Ray does.

Seriously, not a bad movie.

PS. The theory that the wounds of the deceased bleed when their killer enters the room is complete bullshit and pure obscurantism. I would know.

  1. 1996, by Abel Ferrara with Christopher Walken, Benicio Del Toro. []
Category: Trilematograf
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7 Responses

  1. wait, what, you were shot?

  2. Articole platite? Iti urmaresc creatiile de ceva timp iar pentru ideile tale as plati citiva centi in proportie de 5%. Restul e doar infatuare si gunoi.

  3. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 21 February 2013

    Da' si care e problema ? Sau mai precis, ce te face sa crezi ca esti important, reprezentativ sau interesant ? Jde miliarde de oameni pe lume, jet si-un praz verde.

    Ma rog, in proportie de cinci la suta sau ceva.

  4. Asta cu 5 la suta are tente de mema.

  5. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 21 February 2013

    Tata chestia are tente de Stavaroiu Marian. "Hai sa iti povestesc despre mine si ce cred eu". Bre frate, da' tu cine esti ? Pe cine si de ce intereseaza ce-ai tu de spus ? Ce-i aici, bar de americani !?

  6. Ai ramas cu trauma tu sau ceva.

  7. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Wednesday, 15 August 2018

    Just reviewed this and holy crap it's fucking terrible wank. Buncha wanna-be "lesbian feminists" tryna rewrite history, "if I was there in the room in 1940, this is what I'd have said to the gangster, my husband"!!

    Because fucking totally, "Ima leave with the kids" is something she can utter, in context, because this is Literotica so why not. The part where she gets to spend the rest of her life in the place uppity little girls go doesn't have to be included, right.

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