So the USG-run honeypot known by the redditard masses as the Tor networki delivers yet again : the SR owner turns out to be Ross William Ulbricht, some LA kid. Apparently the link suggesting it's really me on the strength of some published prompts reading inigo-montoya$ was spurious. Who knew.
In a recently published complaint our good friend from the previous installment of this article, the anonymous FBI officer swears on the basis of his training and experience that said Ulbricht kid was a dangerous and violent criminal. In support of this allegation - which if anything would count as moreover baseless flattery, I've never heard of murderous geeks before - we are regaled with the following drama :
I. Some other geek hacks some third geek, thus obtaining a list of users.
II. Said geek contacts our geek to demand half a million dollars in exchange for non-disclousure.ii For obscure reasonsiii the hacker-blackmailer geek also tells the narcoebay geek he needs to pay suppliers with the money.
III. In a reasonable move, the narcoebay geek asks to speak to the hacker-blackmailer geek's suppliers directly.
IV. For reasons entirely unfathomable but perhaps related to time going by really, really slowiv the hacker-blackmailer-stoner geek does forward this request to his suppliers (at least apparently).
V. The narcoebay geek proceeds to backstab him, predictably.
Just to be clear, I do not owe him [the stoner tard] any money... I'm not entirely sure what the best action to take is, but I wanted to be in communication with you to see if we can come to a conclusion that works for everyone. FriendlyChemist [stoner tard] aside, we should talk about how we can do business. Obviously you have access to illicit substances in quantity, and are having issues with bad distributors. If you don't already sell here on Silk Road, I'd like you to consider becoming a vendor.
Which is cute, I guess.
VI. The "supplier", who could and in all likelihood actually is the hbs-geek himself (you know, "have your parents call me" highschool stuff) agrees to consider this angle should the alleged debts be paid, after which back on his original identity threatens the narcoebay geek some more.
VII. In a totally unexpected coup reminiscent of the high stakes game of political intrigue and world diplomacy, narcogeek comes up with the idea of getting the supposed suppliers of his supposed blackmailer to do a hit for him. Because seriously, this is how hits work.
VIII. The other geek agrees to Internet-kill himself over the Internet for great Internet lulz&drama + justic, for a price schedule, as follows : 150`000 Bitcents for a "dirty" hit and 300`000 Bitcents for a "clean" hit. The difference is probably whether he has to wash his hands before doing himself. Most burger flippers really hate hygiene because of the obtrusive manner in which burger joint management imposes it on them, so that's why the price differential.
IX. The narcogeek proceeds to negotiate, pointing out that he's had a hit done before for only 80`000 Buttcents.
You absolutely have to read this thing, it's highschooler level bullshit through and through.
The notion that this nonsense is being pressed in all seriousness upon people with jobs and families, who will have to take time out of their days to listen to some dork confessing how on the basis of his training and experience hardened criminals often giggle like little girls and engage in retarded Internet drama as part of a jury is beyond amusing. It's hysterical.
I guess times have changed, a lot. I guess they've backtraced it all to heck. I guess, on the basis of my training and experience, that senor B was right : After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'
LATER UPDATE Anotherv indictment unsealed today substantially fleshes out the attempted murder allegations. The lighthearted treatment of the FBI filing seems inappropriate in light of the much darker matter the DEA filing presents.———
- See a, b etc. If nothing else, there's LABCOIN at 0.0013 and even ACTIVEMINING is doing well. August heh. [↩]
- While it's a really dumb idea to pay out blackmailers in general, it'd twice as dumb to do so online. [↩]
- Basically because for the retards populating this horrible world created by the welfare state everyone's their daddy and consequently they must provide reasons for the money they're filching. [↩]
- Total classic. [↩]
- Apparently multiple agencies were tailing this particular mouse. [↩]