Law enforcement never fails to unintentionally entertain, part 2

Wednesday, 02 October, Year 5 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

So the USG-run honeypot known by the redditard masses as the Tor networki delivers yet again : the SR owner turns out to be Ross William Ulbricht, some LA kid. Apparently the link suggesting it's really me on the strength of some published prompts reading inigo-montoya$ was spurious. Who knew.

In a recently published complaint our good friend from the previous installment of this article, the anonymous FBI officer swears on the basis of his training and experience that said Ulbricht kid was a dangerous and violent criminal. In support of this allegation - which if anything would count as moreover baseless flattery, I've never heard of murderous geeks before - we are regaled with the following drama :

    I. Some other geek hacks some third geek, thus obtaining a list of users.

    II. Said geek contacts our geek to demand half a million dollars in exchange for non-disclousure.ii For obscure reasonsiii the hacker-blackmailer geek also tells the narcoebay geek he needs to pay suppliers with the money.

    III. In a reasonable move, the narcoebay geek asks to speak to the hacker-blackmailer geek's suppliers directly.

    IV. For reasons entirely unfathomable but perhaps related to time going by really, really slowiv the hacker-blackmailer-stoner geek does forward this request to his suppliers (at least apparently).

    V. The narcoebay geek proceeds to backstab him, predictably.

    Just to be clear, I do not owe him [the stoner tard] any money... I'm not entirely sure what the best action to take is, but I wanted to be in communication with you to see if we can come to a conclusion that works for everyone. FriendlyChemist [stoner tard] aside, we should talk about how we can do business. Obviously you have access to illicit substances in quantity, and are having issues with bad distributors. If you don't already sell here on Silk Road, I'd like you to consider becoming a vendor.

    Which is cute, I guess.

    VI. The "supplier", who could and in all likelihood actually is the hbs-geek himself (you know, "have your parents call me" highschool stuff) agrees to consider this angle should the alleged debts be paid, after which back on his original identity threatens the narcoebay geek some more.

    VII. In a totally unexpected coup reminiscent of the high stakes game of political intrigue and world diplomacy, narcogeek comes up with the idea of getting the supposed suppliers of his supposed blackmailer to do a hit for him. Because seriously, this is how hits work.

    VIII. The other geek agrees to Internet-kill himself over the Internet for great Internet lulz&drama + justic, for a price schedule, as follows : 150`000 Bitcents for a "dirty" hit and 300`000 Bitcents for a "clean" hit. The difference is probably whether he has to wash his hands before doing himself. Most burger flippers really hate hygiene because of the obtrusive manner in which burger joint management imposes it on them, so that's why the price differential.

    IX. The narcogeek proceeds to negotiate, pointing out that he's had a hit done before for only 80`000 Buttcents.

You absolutely have to read this thing, it's highschooler level bullshit through and through.

The notion that this nonsense is being pressed in all seriousness upon people with jobs and families, who will have to take time out of their days to listen to some dork confessing how on the basis of his training and experience hardened criminals often giggle like little girls and engage in retarded Internet drama as part of a jury is beyond amusing. It's hysterical.

I guess times have changed, a lot. I guess they've backtraced it all to heck. I guess, on the basis of my training and experience, that senor B was right : After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'

LATER UPDATE Anotherv indictment unsealed today substantially fleshes out the attempted murder allegations. The lighthearted treatment of the FBI filing seems inappropriate in light of the much darker matter the DEA filing presents.

  1. See a, b etc. If nothing else, there's LABCOIN at 0.0013 and even ACTIVEMINING is doing well. August heh. []
  2. While it's a really dumb idea to pay out blackmailers in general, it'd twice as dumb to do so online. []
  3. Basically because for the retards populating this horrible world created by the welfare state everyone's their daddy and consequently they must provide reasons for the money they're filching. []
  4. Total classic. []
  5. Apparently multiple agencies were tailing this particular mouse. []
Category: Zsilnic
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13 Responses

  1. Pinch your nose and read the indictment. There are some very educational details therein. For instance, the poor bugger slipped up and more-or-less wrote a signed confession: he posted buggy SR code under his real name and IP to 'Stack Overflow.' And used the unprivileged user account name from server in a public fake email address.

    Whether the server itself was found via a lucky TOR circuit (three hops through pwned nodes) or a perfectly ordinary hard disk dragnet at his hosting site is an interesting question, but less interesting than the question of why this fellow was so tired of living that he allowed himself to make such elementary mistakes. (Pwned TOR nodes alone would leave the cops with a Silk Road box but no identifiable miscreants to jail.)

  2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Wednesday, 2 October 2013

    He's a kid, he's derping around. Kinda what makes the strength and the weakness of the entire thing.

  3. In other news apparently drugs are still sold online: Not Law Enforcement's finest hour.

  4. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Wednesday, 2 October 2013

    Topix lol. Funny how it's never Facebook, or whatever nonsense "platform" is feeding the presswhores that week.

  5. Yeah, I also like how they use the now BTC/USD value to come up with the lifetime revenue of the site. They completely ignore the long time that The Silk Road was one of the few things in BTC and BTC floated around $1 to $5. I imagine even now, the Silk Road was probably only good for a $1 to $5 contribution to the BTC/USD value. It's that whole problem again of trying to force consumer uses onto Bitcoin.

  6. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 3 October 2013

    Here, for later :

    Oct 02 19:29:25 {mircea_popescu> i guess this will be confirmation #2 i was right about sr's relative irrelevance :
    Oct 02 19:29:29 {mircea_popescu> no particular crash.
    Oct 02 19:29:46 {mircea_popescu> buttcoins will end up known as popescu's 100.

    Oct 02 20:39:43 {thestringpuller> good night silk road
    Oct 02 20:41:04 {Bugpowder> mircea_popescu: you are lucky I couldn't get my coinz out of JD in time to get puts....
    Oct 02 20:41:23 {mircea_popescu> o hey, when did you get out.
    Oct 02 20:42:15 {Bugpowder> hah ha
    Oct 02 20:42:18 {mircea_popescu> :p
    Oct 02 20:43:43 {Bugpowder> argh. the puts were looking so juicy when I saw the first tweet. Doog is sleeping still..
    Oct 02 20:44:20 {taub> rip bitcoin
    Oct 02 20:44:23 {taub> if ucking bought on mtgox
    Oct 02 20:44:24 {taub> on the high
    Oct 02 20:44:27 {dexX7> i didn't read further because the sr stuff popped up
    Oct 02 20:44:31 {taub> well at least only like 30% of my capital
    Oct 02 20:44:32 {taub> but still
    Oct 02 20:44:42 {taub> and i missed the big shorting opportunity because i was too busy fapping
    Oct 02 20:45:39 {Rulother> the things I walk in on
    Oct 02 20:50:47 {fractal_> crashing. we're going to $20
    Oct 02 20:51:17 {Bugpowder> oh shit Doog
    Oct 02 20:51:21 {Bugpowder> fuck an a
    Oct 02 20:51:25 {Bugpowder> it was inevitable
    Oct 02 20:52:26 {mircea_popescu> lol all you ppl and your panicy inclinations.
    Oct 02 20:52:27 {phish> how much is SR propping up this market lol
    Oct 02 20:53:14 {TAT_Investments> Sell all the things!
    Oct 02 20:53:18 {ystarnaud_> lol

    Oct 02 22:43:03 {dexX7> this seems so fueled/manufactured again.. the reddit "summary threads" are super loaded/exaggerated and made by day 1 posters with names like "sr_downfall".. then: lags, bad gateways and timeouts on bitcoin related websites.. and of course right before everything explodes:
    Oct 02 22:43:51 {mircea_popescu> dexX7 meanwhile over at bitbet, the potheads hope :
    Oct 02 22:43:52 {mircea_popescu>
    Oct 02 22:44:42 {mircea_popescu> anyway, you can tell the wanna-be speculators that mp hath spoken, and their hopes were thereby crushed.

  7. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 3 October 2013


  8. More entertainment of this kind:

    Definitely see the attached papers.

  9. “To make use of these keys, the FBI would have to manually input all 2,560 characters, and one incorrect keystroke in this laborious process would render the FBI collection system incapable of collecting decrypted data,” prosecutors wrote.

    what is ocr?

  10. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Friday, 4 October 2013

    Pretty great stuff actually.

  1. [...] of the Silk Road’s operator Ross Ulbricht that begins with sloppy OpSec and ends with lulzy High School murder for hire drama. between him and Federal Agents. I’ve covered the Silk Road Closing [...]

  2. [...] size of The Silk Road relative to the rest of the Bitcoin space confirmed.2 You also get to link to someone else’s write up on the lulzy posturing and drama which contributed to the collapse of ... instead of having to write it [...]

  3. [...] this... but then again I guess I shouldn't be too harsh on mere mortals. After all, there is that Ulbricht [...]

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