The Great Whine Howard

Wednesday, 07 November, Year 4 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

Get ready for John Malkovich with hair!

Also starring, Tom Hanks' lame young brother of a different mother son, Colin Hanks!i

So basically this film starts, there's some douchey kid narrating the by-now all-American classic stupidity, about how his daddy wanted him to be a lawyer when he wanted to be an astronaut and steamroller operator, and then he was forced, raped and abused to go into lawschool except he realised sometime in sophomore year that "he's not happy" and so he left to pursue his dream of becoming... a... no, really, wait for it, the great shock and wonder of it. A WRITER.

Kinda anticlimactic huh ? Well... other than the douchey kid narrating that run down boring meaningless storyii there's another dood in cheapo shiny polyester suits with hair. And a whine you could tell in a million voices, I was going wait, is that John Malkovich ? Why yes, yes it is. Malkovich with hair!

And that's pretty much all you can say about The Great Buck Howardiii, unless you're going to start noticing that the screenwriting is utter crap of the most offensive sort. A shy but talented kid meets a Lilith-y slut that gets turned on by "that existentialist stuff", rehashed rewarmed slop ? You have to be mentally retarded and as cultured as my boots to actually eat that crap up. Also it's quite obvious the girl's lubed up by deus ex machina from the moment she enters the room, which makes it painfully apparent that the only way to get ahead in one of these bullshit sitcoms repackaged as "cinema" is to be friends with the director (who's also the screenwriter - because the world really really needs more singers-songwriters and fewer doctors and engineers).

If there's a way this film could be worse I have no ideea what'd it be.

———
  1. Born Colin Lewes Dillingham []
  2. Hey, it's Tucker Max's life story too! []
  3. 2008, by Sean McGinly, with John Malkovich, Emily Blunt and Colin Hanks. []
Category: Trilematograf
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