slave May I be excused for an hour?
Master You may.
A monk asked Hôgen, "I, Echô, ask you, Master.What is Buddha?" Hôgen said, "You are Echô."
Ahahaha this one's great.
Master Wb! You are slave.
Master Whatever he was asked about Buddhism, Master Gutei simply stuck up one finger.
slave Lol which one!
Master Ahahaha! And slave achieved a great illumination. dtng/c/13556610569.jpg ?
slave Cool idea badly implemented.
Master I think her tits are ruined by the setup.
slave I don't, but hey.
Master Basically, this koan thing is moslty boyish upmanship dickery. Disgusting.
Nansen, Kisu and Mayoku set out together to pay their respects to the National Teacher Chû. On their way Nansen drew a circle on the ground and said, "If you can say something, then let's go farther." Kisu seated himself in the circle. Mayoku made an informal bow. Nansen said, "If it is so, then let's not go any farther." Kisu said, "What is this all about?"
There's hundreds like that. I can almost picture them, sexually frustrated, skinny young men of great ambition trying to FORCE others into obeying them.
slave Why are you so worked up? The fact there's a lot of bad poetry on the books doesn't mean poetry itself is awful. Same with anything else. There's some morons who came. You can prolly count on them being variously frustrated.
Master But this endeavour strives not to poetry.
A monk asked Great Master Ba, "Apart from the Four Phrases, beyond one hundred Negations, please tell me directly, Master, the meaning of Bodhidharma's coming from the West." Master Ba said, "I am tired today, I can't explain it to you. Go and ask Chizô." The monk asked Chizô about it. Chizô said, "Why don't you ask our master?" The monk said, "He told me to ask you." Chizô said, "I have a headache today, I can't explain it to you. Go and ask Brother Kai." The monk asked Brother Kai about it. Kai said, "I don't understand nothing about that question." The monk told Great Master Ba about it. Great Master said, "Chizô's head is white, Kai's head is black."
O look! We've so cleverly suggested that this guy asking a question is stupider than the other guy we assigned the stupid role to because we suck. This is really more disgusting than the current US bullshit.
slave I think this is where you'd tell me to simmer.
Master It's not personal at all.
slave Well, I've said what I think about it. ;p
Master No. This bullshit is preserved for it's supposed value. It's not sniped from idle Facebook conversations of monk hopefuls. It's not the fucking Five Mountains Irc Chat.
slave So are julia roberts movies. So is the Bible.
Master No, so they are not.
Master julia roberts movies are preserved for their commercial value. The bible is preserved as an item. This shit's supposedly a living tradition.
Master You're more a Buddha than the entire collection of practicing zen buddhists alive today.
Master That comparative clearly shows how fucking fucked up it all is.
slave You with these generalizations. It's not healthy. Listen! Just because there's a heap of bullshit does not mean everyone even remotely connected to the orginal thing the bullshit attempts to immitate is guilty of the bullshit.
Master Tell you what. If one day I come to some girl's house to ascertain whether she's worthy of my attention the heap of bullshit will sink her just the same. People failing to eject the bullshit become bullshit, and rightfully so.
slave Unless you expect all people to vehemently fight to the death over every last thing that's not right. Which you can do on paper fine, in practice you might as well cut out the middleman and just despise everyone.
Master I do. And regardless of what I expect, this is it.
slave But YOU DON'T!
Master Yes I do.
slave Show me heads. Heads, on plates.
Master Show me one time I allowed something stupid to stand. Show me the organisation I've not chastised, show me when I preferred to belong rather than to clean.
slave Mk you bought some bullshit pastry that wasn't a pastry and you threw it out. I didn't see you torch the bakery or anyone in it, they weren't even confronted.
Master What's that to do with anything ?
slave "Show me one time I allowed something stupid to stand."
Master Torching the bakery'd be the something stupid.
slave Ok, so then it's not the case that anything which isn't right should be fought over to the death, it's the case that one must pick and choose, and that the only arbiter of how to go about this picking and choosing is yourself, and if people manage to intuit or otherwise somehow come up with this thing fine, and if not despise them. Guess what. Square one. Despise everyone.
Master Not at all. Your reasoning falls apart all through.
slave Possibly. Will you show?
Master "Fought over to the death" is a complete misrepresentation. Reconstruct my words so that they'd actually be correctly represented thus.
Master Well so you see. Not knowing wtf you talk about will get you confused at best. I spoke as to the thing. You spoke as to the agent.
slave Yeah, I did.
Master I don't care if they did or didn't fight to their deaths. It's not oppression we're discussing, it's stupidity.
slave Consider this tho:
Master That's quite important, because the problem's inside. Yeah ?
slave Suppose some guy in China was reading, in translation, nah nvm. I was going to try to find some stupid Romanian thing. But that's the problem.
Master Now you think of something.
A monk came to the hermit Tôhô and asked, "What if you suddenly faced a tiger here?" The hermit roared like a tiger.
Thereupon the monk pretended to be frightened. The hermit laughed loudly. The monk said, "You old robber!" The hermit said, "What can you do to me?" The monk said nothing further.
slave K, this is stupid and the sentiment isn't worthy of putting into any kind of "crafted" form like that.
Master Hah! Actually, it's pretty much the first good one. What did they do ?
slave Who? The writer or the subjects of the story?
Master The monk and the hermit.
slave The monk questioned the hermit's iono wtf, bravery or whatever. The hermit showed he has it. The monk learned he was inept.
Master They fucked. It's a very pretty and very elegant summation of seduction. Complete, too : the monk asks for it. So now, what comment does this fuckwit Setchô add ? Please, guess.
slave I don't know, he who has the tiger within him fears no tiger or some shit.
Master "They are certainly right, but these two evil robbers only know how to steal a small bell while they stop their ears." Total asshattery "o, I am better than them". No, he's not. He's a dickhead cracking beers on the porch.
slave Who is Setcho?
Master Some zen master cca 1600.
slave Well, are you going to do the rabbis & the talmud next? :D
Master So now. Suppose instead of saying what I actually said, I just sprouted some random dickery a la "the plate is rotund, the dish is square". Because thereupon you'll realise the agent/object difference in discussion. Fucking hell, it's outrageously stupid. Anyone could do it, for that matter. Do you know what this is ? This is Internet marketing cca 1500. EXACTLY. "Earn dharma while you hum".
slave I bet you zen masters cca 1600 were a lot more respected and revered than internet marketers today
Master I'm sure they were.
Master Indeed. And shockingly enough, the rabbis are much harder to do. Not in the sense of the actual doing, but in the sense of this displayed version.