Interviu imaginar cu Frank Zappa

Sunday, 06 November, Year 3 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

Eu : Hello Frank, wanna answer some questions ?
FZ : I guess.

Eu : It's going to be on the best site of all time.
FZ : Oh god. You're going to get more idiots to kill themselves ? Didn't you have enough already ? Look around you. Just look for chrissakes ! (FZ points to large herds of teenagers running and screaming around)

Eu : Well, at least being immaterial now they can't bump into one another. Progress !
FZ : You're irresponsible.

Eu : I'm very responsible. I just don't have anyone to answer to. It's quite a different feeling. But anyway, want to tell our readers where you live ?
FZ : Now in Webern.

Eu : I thought you liked Penderecki ?
FZ : Don't even go there. Am I asking you questions about pointless topologies ? It will take me forever just to explain to you what harmony is.

Eu : You know, you lost.
FZ : I lost what ?

Eu : You lost your little private war. Didn't ...
FZ : (interrupts) What war, silly ?

Eu : (unabated) Didn't you say a while back that musicians shouldnt be robots spewing off some kind of little noise that audiences can identify with ?
FZ : So they shouldn't.

Eu : Yet they are, have you checked out Mtv lately ?
FZ : Whats Mtv ?

Eu : Dawg, yo don't check out da station up here ? Dat's sick !
FZ : Eh ?

Eu : It's a music station.
FZ : No it's not.

Eu : Well, can't argue with you about music, I'm sure you'll bitchslap me about harmony again and I cant have it twice in one interview, its not shampoo.
FZ : What's that war foolishness ?

Eu : Music now is just what you always said music should not be.
FZ : No. Music still is what it always was. The stuff people play is not always very musical, and back in the 70's it wasn't always all that musical either.

Eu : What's the point then ?
FZ : Point of what ? Music ? It doesn't need a point.

Eu : No, the point of playing and doing interviews and concerts and stuff.
FZ : Go outside and play sometime, you'll see whats the point. And if you don't we can always meet back here. Concerts are fun.

Eu : What happened to "only in it for the money" ?
FZ : It sold out.

Eu : You made some of the shittiest films ever. Why bother ?
FZ : Name a shitty film that I made.

Eu : Fine. 200 hotels thing
FZ : It was not shitty.

Eu : Nobody understands anything of that. It's maybe funny for you and 5 people. Everyone else came out of the theatre scratching his head.
FZ : Well, they came out of concerts the same way, but at least I've given them the chance to go in and see something that will allow them to scratch their heads instead of letting them sit in front of a television set and scratch their balls and know in advance what everybody is going to say and what everybody is going to do.

Eu : That sounds like a stupid endeavour.
FZ : If I was that smart I'd be taking interviews not giving them.

Me: Are you still knocking your head against the wall?
FZ: No. I just stopped getting agitated about it; it doesn't bother me.

Eu : Isn't that frustrating?
FZ : Only if you let it be.

Eu : Say, you think kids should finish college ?
FZ : No.

Eu : High school ?!
FZ : No. High schools is wonderful preparation for life in a factory. That's all it is. Either they prepare you to be a consumer, or to be somebody who puts front bumpers on Chevrolets.

Eu : What about college?
FZ : It's the same thing. The best thing about college is you can get laid. You can get laid in high school, too, these days if you're lucky. But in high school, it is a bit tougher. The only thing that is really useful about college is that it's a good place for people to get together and go off and build their little lives together. Because if you didn't go to college, or some other place where there's a high concentration of like-minded people, you'd wind up spending all your time in bars.

Eu : What's wrong with bars ?
FZ : They make you pay.

Eu : What do you think of drugs?
FZ : I think they're OK for people who like them.

Eu : Do you like Brecht ?
FZ : The composer ?

Eu : No, the playwright.
FZ : I don't know. I once saw half of the "Three-Penny Opera", half or so, I couldn't sit through the rest.

Eu : That was decades ago you did that.
FZ : Yea, sounds about right.

Eu : Would you agree if I said Brecht is just a pretentious prick who thinks he knows everything about writing plays but somehow mysteriously can't write a bearable play to save his life ?
FZ : Yes.

Eu : Why ?
FZ : Because I am getting tired of this and I'm trying to get it over with.

Eu : Well okay, mind if we continue some other time ?
FZ : If you stop with the kids.

Eu : Fine. At Frank Zappa's request, I will make the following statement : Anyone under 18 killing themselves will be stuck forever in their present form. That means the zits, the small cock complete with a budding erectile disfunction, the shaky voice and everything else stays, forever. And I do mean forever, unlike that slut Peggy Sue. Wait a couple of years, it won't kill you.

Se accepta a) traduceri in limba romana ; b) dovezi ca ati prins poantele, subtextele si restu' de chestii.

Category: Trilterviuri
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23 Responses

  1. lui tom waits cand ii iau eu interviu imaginar sa vezi ca-mi raspunde in romana. el e mai COOL! :D

  2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    2
    Mircea Popescu 
    Monday, 7 November 2011

    Baga.

  3. Mihai B: Hello, mr. Waits!
    Tom Waits: How do you do?
    Mihai B: I had a fine day...
    Tom Waits: Suit yourself!
    Mihai B: But I'm suited...
    Tom Waits: FFFFFFFUUUU Y O LOOK NO LIKE MIRCEA POPESCU! Y O NEED A GRAY SUIT...
    Mihai B: But I've got some cheap 5$ sunglasses, instead!
    Tom Waits: You mean 5$ is cheap. There are plenty people that are living with less than an dollar per day.
    Mihai B: So wtf?! Mircea Popescu owns money!
    Tom Waits: Can I tell you a secret?
    Mihai B: No, no, please...
    Tom Waits: Listen here, I have a secret... Mircea Popescu is my source of inspiration...
    Mihai B: Really?! What dou You mean? Are you crazy?
    Tom Waits: I even have a t-shirt with a Mircea Popescu's picture when he visited the pyramids on a camel...
    Mihai B: FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU!
    Tom Waits: And I read his posts frequently with google translate.
    Mihai B: FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUU!
    Tom Waits: And I decided to quit wearing jeans few than a week ago...

    Mihai B was running the fuck out of there...

  4. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    4
    Mircea Popescu 
    Monday, 7 November 2011

    Pai si parca-ti raspundea in romana. Fail.

  5. Lasa asta.

    Hai sa va povestesc eu una.

    Deci tocmai citeam despre Istoria Indonesiei pe Jewpedia, cand citesc ca baticul l-au inventat ei si nu se limiteaza numai la ceva pe cap (link

    Ma duc la dexonline sa aflu etimologia cuvantului si-mi spune ca din franceza, "batik".

    Bravo baieti.

  6. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    6
    Mircea Popescu 
    Monday, 7 November 2011

    DEX = laba proasta.

  7. ps : asta-i din seria arhivele zenone in lolgleza?

  8. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    8
    Mircea Popescu 
    Monday, 7 November 2011

    @Mihai B

    Mihai B: Hello, mr. Waits!
    Tom Waits: How do you do?
    Mihai B: I had a fine day…
    Tom Waits: Suit yourself!
    Mihai B: But I’m suited
    Tom Waits: FFFFFFFUUUU Y O LOOK NO LIKE MIRCEA POPESCU! Y O NEED A GRAY SUIT…
    Mihai B: But I’ve got some cheap 5$ sunglasses, instead!
    Tom Waits: You mean 5$ is cheap. There are plenty people that are living with less than an dollar per day.
    Mihai B: So wtf?! Mircea Popescu owns money!
    Tom Waits: Can I tell you a secret?
    Mihai B: No, no, please…
    Tom Waits: Listen here, I have a secret… Mircea Popescu is my source of inspiration…
    Mihai B: Really?! What dou You mean? Are you crazy?
    Tom Waits: I even have a t-shirt with a Mircea Popescu’s picture when he visited the pyramids on a camel…
    Mihai B: FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU!
    Tom Waits: And I read his posts frequently with google translate.
    Mihai B: FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUU!
    Tom Waits: And I decided to quit wearing jeans few than a week ago

    Mihai B was running the fuck out of there…

    Now fix it.

    @Freud Scotland's finest.

  9. Ce hater.

    unrelated : aaahahahahaha, deci braking news.

    demaio sau bogdan constantinescu ie defapt

    http://dinorasulacesta.wordpress.com/

    lolz. how did i missed this shit.

    ce naiba ba, pleaca unul, vine altul.

    ___

    pana la urma astia-s ceva unu si acelasi, nuvela online, ce naiba

  10. lolz. era scris dupa 12 noaptea, ora locala, man! si, de exemplu, alea cu few than a week, sau is running the f**ing away, le-am observat si eu dupa ce am dat send. asta nu inseamna ca as fi ceva as in gramatica limbii engleze, evident. si nici ca voi, doara am altele pe cap. p.s. textul e umor, nu mostra de gramatica...

  11. p.s. 2: da' de ce nu fixezi tu sa ne apara ora gm+2 la comentarii? ca sa se stie cine si cand a comentat ce!

  12. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=CP3e0phtDM0#t=358s

  13. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    13
    Mircea Popescu 
    Monday, 7 November 2011

    @Freud Nu cred ca-s aceeasi persoana, cred ca-s un cerc de labari, ca si perfu/amuitcea/bombalau aia sau cum ii mai cheama. Pur si simplu cind erau prin gimnaziu chiuleau de la scoala ca sa-si faca laba reciproc, si io aveam niste colegi de-astia prin clasa a 7-a. Unu' o ajuns pirnaias, altu' parca ceva gay fo' pay prin Italia si al treilea n-am idee. Cam asa ceva, gen.

    PS. Ala din Italia facea exact ca Liviu asta, vai ce tare e el si ce fraieri is restu' care nu se duc la munca in Italia. Sase luni sau ceva, o vara gen. Stiu ei ce stiu, complexe de curva.

    @Mihai B Scuze penibile. Fixezi, auzi colo...

  14. p.s. textul e umor, nu mostra de gramatica…

    de cate ori cineva care tocmai a gresit flagrant invoca scuza asta ..

    http://daimon.me/storage/facepalm-3.jpg

  15. Next question: Why did you die Fraaank, why? Look what happened, look at how much shit pop culture ate after your death. Nirvana?

  16. @mp : Cu exceptia ca coloja e in oradea.

    @daimon : im lurking in ya folder and fak ya man and your anal.ytics jewish-monopol usage.

    _________________-

    unraled.

    deci ultimate irrefutable argument for mircea's jewishness:

    1. Mircea Popescu e filozof
    2. Mircea e Stoic
    3. Stoicii sustin ca nefericirea vine din erori in gandire
    4. Evreii sustin ca nefericirea, nelinistea, durerea vin din pacate
    5. Pacatele sunt greseli in comportament, care vin din gandire
    6. ???
    7. Profit

    also undeniable divine seal and message as 7 stands for the 7 classical planets, may sun /sol/hercules/marduk/yahve till saturn//satana/etc be with you.

  17. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    17
    Mircea Popescu 
    Monday, 7 November 2011

    @krossfire Iote cine era fan :p

    @Freud N-am inteles ce legatura are ?

  18. mircea popescu nu este evreu. evreii sunt fiecare cate un mircea popescu.

    in viitor trilema o sa fie corporatia sefa. fiecare cetatean va umbla la costum gri cu cravata in orice ipostaza... femeile vor umbla dezbracte. orice buton de la radio, tv, turn on-ul de la comp, etc va avea imprimata pe el fata lui mircea popescu.

  19. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    19
    Mircea Popescu 
    Monday, 7 November 2011

    Si pe hirtie igienica nimic ? Gen pula lu' Mircea Popescu, la caz ca se sterge cineva la fund ori isi sufla nasu' sa-i fie aproape ?

  20. aia-i ceva coada de matura... da' hartie igienica si batiste de hartie cu pula ta, unica si adevarata sunt deja pe piata si 54% dintre muritorii de rand le folosesc in prezent. ceea ce nu-i rau. deloc. :d

  21. Imi place mai mult de Frank decat de tine, e mai calm si mai realist omu'! L-ai creat bine! Imi facusem o idee care, intre timp ce va citeam pe toti concentrata, se ratacii.... se apopie sfarsitullll ..................de saptamana

  22. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    22
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 22 December 2011

    Grea munca.

  1. [...] - I Duminica, 19 August, Anul 4 d.Tr. | Autor: Mircea Popescu Anul trecut publicam un interviu imaginar cu Frank Zappa. Anul asta publicam un interviu neimaginar, c-a avut loc, fiind consemnat de Dave Rothman pentru [...]

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