Omul lup

Thursday, 08 April, Year 2 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

Filmul incearca sa refaca un clasic al genului, numit tot Omul Lup, dar pe un scenariu semnificativ modificat, in sensul rau al termenului. Rezultatul este un film de groaza, dar in cel mai propriu sens : e-atat de prost ca te-apuca groaza.

Regizorul, un oarecare Joe Johnston, nu-i de fapt un regizor in sensul propriu al termenului, ci mai degraba director de efecte speciale (bucati din seria Star Wars, bucati din alte fransize de-ale lui Lucas, Arca Pierduta, Battlestar Galactica si alte mizerii). Ca regizor se poate lauda cu grozavii precum Jurassic Park III, Jumanji si alte atrocitati. Practic vorbind, J.J. (IPA dʑidʑi) e modelul convenabil pentru yankeul tamp cu falci patrate si creierul in fundul sertarului, la pastrare. Cum arata un film facut de el nu va puteti inchipui, dar nici n-am indrazneala sa va indemn sa mergeti sa vedeti.

Benicio del Toro nu-i un actor. Sigur ca-n mana unui regizor foarte priceput sau macar foarte talentat, precum Guy Ritchie, el poate parea a fi un actor, asa cum si Lily Cole poate parea a fi actrita. In fapt, Benicio e un fotomodel, perfect capabil sa stea in poza. Cam asta-i tot, varful reprezentarii imagistice a lui despre sine tine de un mediu static, nu poate juca tot asa cum o poza nu poate sa miste.

Din pacate, prostalai cum e si J.J. au totusi la dispozitie bani, ca rezultat al faptului ca o multime de oameni se duc sa vada cacaturi impropriu numite filme facute de patronu' Lucas, si cumpara guma de mestecat colorata sintetic, floricele de porumb si suc de la spalatul bomboanelor imprimate cu "figurile memorabile" ale proprietatii "intelectuale". Ca atare, prostalai cum e si J.J. au cu ce pierde vremea actorilor adevarati, cum este sir Anthony Hopkins. Bietul om se descurca cam ca un pescarus intr-o maree neagra, joaca si el cat se mai poate juca intre niste prostalai.

E pacat, si e rusine. Omul e batran. Nu mai are mult timp la dispozitie, si nu-mi place sa vad timpul ala pierdut intr-o nenorocire impropriu numita film. As prefera un nou Leu in Iarna. As prefera alte Ramasite ale Zilei.

Se poate ?

Pentru ca daca nu se poate, as prefera sa vad un film in care J.J., George Lucas si tot restul reprezentantilor pseudo-culturii de peste ocean, intelectuali la norma pe calapod rusesc isi baga in cur obiecte mari, cu muchii ascutite.

Category: Trilematograf
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17 Responses

  1. kokofifi`s avatar
    1
    kokofifiinsigna de criptograf 
    Thursday, 8 April 2010

    tie ti-i clar ca viata e scurta tare, da? alea 2 ore nu le mai recuperezi in veci!
    filme in care apar vampiri si werewolfi is risipa de pelicula.
    era macar un zombie in film? ca altfel... :D

  2. pai te laudai ca nu te uiti la filme decat daca te conving 3 critici si 7 fete fragede. cum ai facut exceptie de la regula?

  3. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    3
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 8 April 2010

    Uneori ma duc la film ca sa avem fundal sonor pentru blowjob etc.

  4. Pai stai un pic atunci ca poate nui vina la regizoru asta ca poatei vina feti. Casai in lucrun echipa nu sti pe cine sa dai vina.

  5. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    5
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 8 April 2010

    Io-s de acord ca fata-i de vina, da' care fata ?!

  6. Cea cu blowjobu. Asam presupus eu ca era o fata. Daca era baiat atunci baiatu.

  7. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    7
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 8 April 2010

    Fata, da. Da' nu o fata. Ci doua fete. Care fiecare dintre ele fiind cate-o fata, tot nu-i clar, care fata ?

  8. subiectul era omul lup si nu ouale lu Marcel.

  9. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    9
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 8 April 2010

    Daca Omu' Lup se epuizeaza mai repede ca oole lu' Marcel, cine ce vina are ?

    Eventual JiJi.

  10. Pai Marcel a zis in comenturi ca si citesc Uneori ma duc la film ca sa avem fundal sonor pentru blowjob etc. Ca doar nu mas apuca acuma sa i comentez la text ca alai mai lung.

  11. Filmul e o mizerie. Am incercat sa il vad tot. E greu, n-am reusit.

  12. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    12
    Mircea Popescu 
    Friday, 9 April 2010

    Este perfect posibil sa nu fi reusit nimeni.

  13. Anonimosu`s avatar
    13
    Anonimosu 
    Friday, 9 April 2010

    Dupa wikipedia:
    In February 2007, director Mark Romanek was attached to helm The Wolfman.[8] In January 2008, Romanek left the project because of creative differences.[10] Brett Ratner emerged as a frontrunner to replace Romanek, but the studio also met with Frank Darabont, James Mangold and Joe Johnston. They were also interested in Bill Condon, and Martin Campbell was interested.[11] Johnston was hired to direct on February 3, 2008, and the film's shooting schedule and budget remained as intended.[12] Johnston hired David Self to rewrite the script.[13]
    ...
    However, director Joe Johnston explained that joining the picture three weeks before photography placed limitations on his ability to film without using CG effects. He has stated, “I recognized that there were things that I was going to be able to do from the beginning to the end... and things that I had to rely on post-production for.” In reference to filming Benicio del Toro's actual transformation into the Wolfman, Johnston further explained, “I decided to basically shoot just Benicio, in the sequence where ... he transforms ... and decide in post-production what I wanted the transformation to be. That was really my main reason [for using CG]; it gave me so much more flexibility.”
    ...
    Leonard Maltin has panned the film on his weekly television segment, describing Rick Baker's latest werewolf incarnation as "eerily reminiscent of Paddington Bear".
    ...
    It was reported that Danny Elfman wrote a dark, melodic, and moody score for The Wolfman, which was rejected by the studio after the film was cut down a half an hour in length and the music became too "wall-to-wall," creating what Johnson called too much repetition. Due to his not being able to come back and re-score (because he was contractually obligated to work on Tim Burton's upcoming Alice in Wonderland feature film), the producers decided rather than to expand on his ideas with a new composer (a path that they would eventually take), to take a gamble and attempt a different composer, along with a completely different approach, which would include extensive re-shooting of scenes. The idea was to quicken the pace and strike a similar tone to the successful Underworld films, turning a slow-paced story into a much faster one. Paul Haslinger subsequently wrote an electronic contemporary incarnation of the Wolfman score, which the studio quickly realized was not appropriate for the 1800's gothic setting. Elfman's score, which was previously recorded, is, as a result, the one that is used in the final film instead.[45]

    Universal decided to switch back scores close to the last minute, realizing their experiment had failed. It is believed the material Haslinger did record specifically for the studio as his intended version of the score was subsequently destroyed shortly after his removal. Whether Haslinger retained any of his work for personal purposes is currently unknown. There has of late been two versions of the film Universal has known to have shown to test audiences, both however featured Elfman's score in some form. Elfman's original recording, which had been completed for a previous cut of the film, was "fit" to the new version via orchestrator Conrad Pope. Some confusion has surfaced regarding this, as many news sources are claiming Elfman never "completed" his score, sidestepping that he did, in fact, complete it, but has not re-shaped it to fit the studio's ever evolving changes.

  14. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    14
    Mircea Popescu 
    Friday, 9 April 2010

    Superb, ce sa mai.

  15. Din articol si comentarii reiese ca ti s-a facut blowjob pe filme de groaza :)) ma ingrozesc sa aud asta :))

  16. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    16
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 11 November 2010

    De ce, nu se poate decit pe muzica de balet ?

  1. [...] Asai cal face inca si mai tare? Cai stadup comedy. dAImon (apropo de cronica negativa pentru un film prost) : pai te laudai ca nu te uiti la filme decat daca te conving 3 critici si 7 fete fragede. cum ai [...]

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