Overheard in my harem
Pick any pillow in this bed! I will lift it! OVER MY HEAD!
Works a lot better with nude sluts than with surprisingly-still-ambulatory geriatrics, you know ?i
"And check it out, the hortensia I pruned is pushing out a new inflorescence."
"I bet they don't even spell it with a w, like god obviously meant it."
Seriously now, what the fuck's a hortensia even supposed to be !?
Whortensja all the way, I saj!
"But when we have a house..."
"What the fuck do you think this is ?"
"Oh, this... it's just a bunch of connected apartments."
There was a very puzzled pause, after which the voice of reason attempted to rescue the damsel of confusion
"What do you think'd make it a house ?"
"If it... I mean there's no lawn... If there were two floors. Or if we had to mow the lawn..."
In fact there's a fully grown adult farmer guy who spends the whole of his working days mowing the extensive hillside. I wouldn't send the bitches to do what's, very absolutely an' essentially a man's job, not unless exceptionally, for punishment or whatever the hell particular consideration ; but be that as it may -- the girly in question was actually sent to climb on the (unrelatedly pre-existing) roofwork scaffolding to wash the third floor windows from the outside. She didn't fall or anything like that, so a concussion's not in the explanatory running, but apparently the floorcount overflew its toppings or something, it's not clear what exactly.
Oh Master, you're like a tornado of pain and misery!
I was just making light playful fun of some bitch, but apparently I don't know my own strength.
Omg! MILK! Please don't throw anymore things!
I recently discovered they can catch pretty good, on account of the blessings of youth upon the hand-eye coordination system, or a lifetime interest in baseball, or just positive outcomes of the genital roulette, who even knows. Perhaps even the simple workings of incentive systems, because guess who does the cleaning made necessary by having failed to catch (and not by Master -- meaning, me -- throwing in the first place).
But I'm throwing things anyways & be all the foregoing as it may -- most recently, the large glass mug I had just (mostly) emptied of milk. Girl caught it alright, so... disaster averted. For now.
He's going to get a huge sifter and just dust the whole floor in one swift flick of the wrist.
Somebody had left a loaded flour sifter on a counter, and I proceeded to... well, what would you do ?
I proceeded to sift flour all over the place, what.
You're just like a big angry baby!
She's just trying to get even, that's all. EXCEPT IT DOES NOT WORK. Ha!
"Did you ring the bell ? Or am I just hearing things ?"
"You're hearing things."
I have many countless bells ; the pan-demonium lasts all nite long (no solid chunks just yet, though).
"So do you give up ?"
"Oh, damn. Yeah, I ain't guessing."
"Doris Day."
"Wow. Shit. No, you're right. I'd have never gotten that.
I asked them the day before (meaning, yesterday -- because all this has occurred today, so far today) whether they want a trivia question they'll absolutely never guess the answer to. These types of inquiries always end up with the affirmative answer (or else!), and so I profered "What well known female entertainer originally discovered Merv Griffin". They tried the whole day, the poor darlings, but... I mean even Phyllis Diller got mentioned, for the first time in what must be at least twenty-seven years. No dice.
"You've got a pipe cleaner."
"Yeah, I know. I think it's trying to become my pet."
"It'd make a pretty good pet..."
"I don't know. Does it know any tricks ?"
"It knows the trick of cleaning... and also doesn't want much food or anything. You can leave it behind and it'll just wait for you patiently, it doesn't even meow or anything. Or need its thing changed... it's potty trained, it just never needs to go."
Chick's packing, and there's a pipe cleaner on the floor by the suitcase. I think they must've had a pipecleaners, colorful confetti & balderdash fight in her room earlier, because... well...
"That sounds interestingly tupudent."
"Tupudent ?!"
"Important."
"But that's not what you said. What you said was 'tupudent'."
It's true, too. She mangles her syllables into a lukewarm, runny cream.
But anyways, enough of that. I mean, that much should be enough for now, and besides -- it's time to go.
(& I bid you all a most heartfelt goodnight)
- No, you don't know. Of course you don't know. What the fuck am I even asking. [↩]
