A big mistake

Hello, and welcome to Trilema article #100001!
It's a wonder to have made it this far, huh!

The included picture count reached #99998 on the last article, too,
so I guess I gotta add a coupla in here to unite the two ?

Hurray for unlikely coincidences & one picture per article wohoo!

I made a really big mistake.

All through highschool I did nothing but read online porn and masturbate. I grew up in a small town in the Midwest, and I just couldn't see any of the local boys laying his stupid hands on me. The idea gave me the jibees. Maybe if there was an ok one I could have let him fuck me and maybe it'd have made me get over it. The thing with porn is that the more you jill the more you want to just jill more. I spent whole weekends locked up in my room, "studying" all the pornsites I could find. My kitty just stayed sore and swollen the whole time, but I didn't care. At first, when I was just getting started, I'd only cum twice or three times a day, but by the time I was starting highschool I was rubbing myself raw before even getting out of bed in the morning. Then there was the night time night cap, that took a while... many nights I'd be in my jammies and going to bed at 10 o clock like Dad said, then I'd be naked under the covers and then the next thing I knew the Sun was coming up. I never took a shower without waterspouting my clit into exploding, but early on I made a rule that I have to get naked and cum before getting in... I made up lots of rules about the shower, like the ten fingers. I'd soap my hands and start rubbing myself while sliding my thumb in and out of my ass until I came. Then I'd move on to the next finger, in and out of my ass until I came again. Most of the times I could get through all ten fingers that way. I think it was in tenth grade when I discovered the peeing. After that I never peed except while cumming. I still don't, really.

My big mistake was that I made a blackmail bundle. The idea for it was on one of the websites. They explained that in order to be a real perfect slut what you have to do is make all the humiliating things you can think of, everything that you'd do anything to prevent people from seeing, and put them all in a bundle together. By the time I was graduating the bundle was in a big cardboard box under my bed. There was everything in there. My journals, many many letters to my parents about being a whore, and lots and lots of thumb drives with full pictures. Once I started working on my bundle I soon came up with the idea of taking compromising pictures of myself outdoors, and then in various places. I'd cut the picture out and send part of it to websites online, but I'd also keep the whole for the bundle. This way if someone was looking through the bundle they could see not just the humiliating picture of me, but also the forum threads with all what the other people said and what I said back to them about it. It was scary, but it pushed me to always go a little further out, it pushed my limits and it forced me to go outside my comfort zone, which of course it's exactly what they said would happen. The first pictures when I was fourteen don't look like anything much ; but by the time I was sending out college applications I had become an expert like no other. I had in there completely naked pictures everywhere in school, from the library to the cafeteria, in all the public bathrooms in town, and I don't just mean inside a stall or something. I'd watch carefully all the time, and I'd go out in the hallway, I had pictures leaning against the open door to the men's, I had a few leaning against the police cruiser while it had its lights on... I had everything you can think of, because really I could think of nothing else. My entire wardrobe was nothing but quicky nikki clothes, wrap around dresses and all things I could take off in a flash and put back on in a flash too, if need be. I rarely did that though, I never put my clothes back on in a hurry. I really enjoyed pushing it, taking my time with it... one time at the multiplex I went to the ladies, I took everything off, then I walked over to the men's, took a bunch of pictures, then went back in the hall and sat down, took a lot more pictures with the flash off and only when the credits were rolling I walked back into the ladies. But I waited outside until the lights turned on, I mean all the way outside.

The other posters were very helpful. They gave me so many great ideas... like I'd have never thought to go to the park, spread out a blanket, and start doing my toenails, each in a different color and the nail polish tube inside my ass for each of them on my own. Isn't that a great idea though ? Who besides the worst of the worst streetwalking prostitute would do something like that ? It's really unpleasant to do, which is why I'd never have thought to do it on my own, but of course that's exactly what makes it such prime bundle material. That's how come I still had my virginity when I went to college, too. Everyone agreed the pictures with things in my asshole are a lot better if I'm showing off my virginity, so I always took care to spread my lips with my left hand while doing it. They told me I'd be a damn fool to break that seal, so I didn't. If they didn't tell me I probably would have, it's kinda natural for a girl to shove a vibe or a lotion bottle or something in there and butcher herself, but the Internet helped me know better! They said I'm a prime NRFB slut doll and things like that, it made me really hot to read all the comments.

The counselor told me in my case it's probably the best idea to go to a two year state college first, as a state-resident. She said then afterwards I can work my way into a four year college and it will be a lot better, and a lot cheaper, than anything that'd accept me upfront. My grades weren't really very good and she said my CV isn't that impressive either. Besides, I really didn't know what I want to do. Her advice was really very good and sensible. I met Jimmy at the state college. He was trying to get into Emory or UVA or something, but of course his parents couldn't afford anything like that. I guess he was basically killing time. I was sitting on a bench looking out at the snow and he came from behind and asked me if I'd like a sandwich. I didn't really want a sandwich, and his sandwiches looked like shit, but I just didn't know how to say no, so I took one. He knew me I think because I ended up in Creative Writing by mistake one day, I just went in the wrong door and bam! Two hundred eyes all on me, and the teacher being really pissed off. It was so humiliating I could feel my juices flowing down my legs. I blurted something and ran out, but I guess he remembered me. Anyway, after that I think he gave me something to read that he had written or maybe read me some poems or something, oh, actually we met again at a mixer before that I think, I don't remember very well, I was pretty drunk. Some other guy fingered me I think, and also there was some making out but not with him.

For some reason after that I could never get him out of my mind. Whenever I was in the shower or in bed at night, the thought kept coming and coming and coming back : "You know... this goof would be just the perfect stranger to tell about your little bundle of secrets." I mean... he wouldn't have to see it... or not anything inside, anyway. But I could tell him about it, because of course that's the whole thing about a blackmail bundle. It needs someone else to blackmail you with it. I had nowhere to go over the Summer, so I just stayed on campus. It was still a thousand miles better than going back home. One day I took a walk through town, and that's when I ran into him again. He was very awkward and weird, I guess he was also thinking a lot about me too, but eventually he managed to ask me out. I said ok, and we went Saturday to a very nice and upscale place for dinner. I mean it had lobster and everything. I ordered some, too. I could tell he wasn't banking on that but what the hell. After the check I asked him if he'd like to buy me a drink. He asked what about the movie ? And I told him that if he buys me a drink I'll tell him a secret. I'm guessing this'd be the second big mistake.

He took me to a bar down the road, I think it was expensive. I guess he wasn't banking on that either, maybe he just walked into the first one he saw. It was that kind of bar that has waiters come over, not like Hooters or sports bars or anything, but real waiter-like older guys in those old timey suits they wore back in the days of Kennedy or whenever that was. I squeezed Jimmy's leg under the table and I turned my head up to the waiter "What do you think I deserve, sir ?" He coughed and said "May I suggest a Frozen Daiquiri, Miss ?" It was pretty excellent, too, I had like five. Jimmy had Jimmy, I mean whisky on the rocks, which is Jim Beam isn't it ? Ha-ha. So I told him. I said "Jimmy, I have a really, really big secret. It's really big." He just looked at me with wide-open eyes like saucers. I think he was bracing to hear that I'm crossdressing and all about how good penis tastes. As I told him bits and pieces his mouth kept opening wider and wider. Then he said he has a secret too. He told me he feels so comfortable with me because I am so open and honest with him and he must return the favour and answer in kind and something about a token I don't remember. He told me all about this asshole Malcom, the son of the owner of the business where he was working then. Jimmy is far from manly, I mean he was kinda short, kinda scrawny, with a bit of a beard but not really and round glasses. He didn't look like much. This Malcom dude though... he must've been like nine foot tall, and ripped like a wrestler or a MMA guy or something, to hear Jimmy tell it. He wasn't really anything like that, I think he's five ten, he's built a little, it's true, but... Anyway, he told me all about Malcom, for like three hours, how he bullies him at work and just picks on him all the time and is just an all-around asshole making poor Jimmy's life hell but he can't quit because he really needs that job to make tuition and he's stuck. I don't remember what all the asshole did, honestly I don't think he did much of anything at all. Jimmy himself said he's not even coming in to work most of the time, so what hardcore bullying is that ? He did send Jimmy to buy him Starbucks and things like that, and made fun of him for all sorts of things that Jimmy felt very humiliated about, but then again it really wasn't hard to do at all.

Then after that we moved in together. I mean, Jimmy needed a room mate, to ease up on the rent. I think he was too shy to advertise, so he just kept procrastinating doing something about it. I really don't see Jimmy interviewing potential room mates and turning people down. I wasn't getting along so great with the other girls in the dorm. They were kinda weird, cramping my style something fierce, and then always bringing stupid boyfriends over that were not one iota better than what I left behind but they acted like someone might want to steal them away or something. This one bitch Sarah was the worst with it, and then when I told her I wouldn't steal that roadkill from her if he was the last male anything left in the world she lost her shit. Everyone laughing their ass off probably didn't help, and her boyfriend at the time had a huge pimple on his nose for some reason, but anyway the rent was just outrageous, they charged me for a bed in a room with three people almost half what it cost to rent a studio across town. I mean there's the commuting and everything, but half hour a day isn't worth a hundred fifty a week any way you look at it.ⁱ When Jimmy mumbled something about needing a room-mate I asked him "Are you just going to assume I'm your girlfriend if I move in with you ?" He turned beet red and started flailing around, assuring me he wouldn't assume anything at all. We went over so he can show it to me, it was a little messy but very sunny. Only one bed, though queen size, a small kitchen and a couch. I could move in there and save some money, plus Jimmy wasn't going to be half as annoying as Sarah and the rest of them. I asked him what about sleeping arrangements ? He said he'd be on the couch, of course. I told him I'm naked a lot, so he'd have to knock, unless that's no problem to him. He assured me it's no problem though it was pretty obvious it was going to be a humongous problem for him. I asked him if he's sure and he told me he's 100% certain, but he was breathing funny. I told him it'd be no problem sharing the bed, if he can keep to himself. He flailed some more and said the couch is probably for the best.

After moving in I pretty much stopped showing up for class anymore. It was pointless anyway, and taking two buses for pointless didn't seem too appealing. I just smoked pot and masturbated all day long, pretty much. I think there were whole weeks in there I didn't put on as much as a pair of socks. I didn't even bother go pick up my shit from the dorm. I carried my secret bundle with me, but other than that... I mean I had every intention to, but somehow it never worked out. Eventually they mailed some boxes over to me, but I don't remember ever opening them. Jimmy ordered me a dozen pairs of cute socks from Amazoink and I wore those, mostly to please him. He was pleased, for sure. At first I wanted to give him a hard time, like I busted in on him while he was jacking off in the bathroom. He was really embarrassed. I made him get out holding his dick because I needed to pee. He was so frustrated and ashamed it was really funny. I made him shave my legs, massage my feet, paint my toenails. I mocked him for always being dressed, too, but he never gave up those dockers. I tried my best to be a bitch, basically. It lasted for maybe a week or two, but it's really not who I am. Eventually I broke down, went over to where he was squirming on the couch and put a foot over the armrest, right by his head. I asked him while rubbing myself slowly if he'd like me to suck him off ? He shuddered and started crying. It was making me really horny for some reason. I told him to kiss me, and he did, right on my kitty. It was the first time anyone touched me in my whole life. It felt so god damned good! I said "You know Jimmy... you're not getting any rent money this way." He said that's ok. I turned around and went to town on his blue balls and their stout dick, just like I saw in porn. It's fucking great! I really love sucking cock, it's delicious, like better than any icecream. It's just so hard and satisfying and the way he reacts to what you do is really fulfilling. After that we had the erection police. He wasn't legal to have contraband erections, he had to come in and declare every woody for tasting and appraisal. I sucked him dry. A guy can't really do it as many times as a girl can, but I had no idea back then. I don't think I'd have cared anyway.

Then one Monday morning as he was whining about that Malcom and how he doesn't want the week to start the idea struck me. I suppose I made a lot more than a few mistakes, huh. Anyway, while Jimmy was at work I sifted through his things and found Malcom's handle. I told him I'm Jimmy's fiance and would he like to join us for dinner Friday night ? He agreed! After that, the coin was in so to speak, one thing leading to another. When Jimmy came back from work I told him I have a great thing planned for Friday night, and he has to take me out to Victoria's Secret and buy me expensive lingerie. He whined "but won't that be expensive ?" and I told him "Oh yeah, Jimmy. You have to max out your cards buying me lingerie. That's the point." He just sighed with resignment. He did it, too. I bought two pair white, one pair pink, one pair nude, one pair red stockings, not panty hose though, the kind that needs the special belt, and a white and a pink belt, and a bunch of pretty frilly panties, mostly see-through and really sexy bras and a bunch of things. We didn't end up going to Victoria's Secret though, we just ordered it online. Better this way, because I could get it exactly to the cent of maxing out his card. He wasn't whining about it anymore. I think maybe he enjoyed that part himself too, somehow. Then I dropped the bomb on him. No more kissy, no more anything. He has to save himself for Friday. He's not even allowed to touch it, he has to pee sitting down from now on until Friday night. "How about in the shower ?" he asked me. "Use cold water" I said, just like they said online. It worked, too.

Friday morning, after he went to work, I ordered some supermarket pizza and a bunch of cheap wine. I made it a single transaction so it'd activate his bank's "courtesy" overdraft protection and hit him with a hundred bonus Monday morning. I knew well enough he had no way to get that kind of money. When the delivery guy came I opened the door wearing Jimmy's favourite socks. The guy was kinda pudgy, but I was so desperate for a fill-up by then I really didn't care. He was looking at me with eyes as huge as saucers. I said "What's the matter ? You've never seen a slut before ?" He shook his head "No ma'am." I said "Well come in and let me suck you off." He came in and dropped his pants. I sniffed his balls a good long while. They smelled different. It thrilled me, deep down, to sniff a stranger's scent while Jimmy was at work. I sniffed and licked and rubbed his dick all over my face and neck and chest. He sploodged all over me. I didn't mind. On the contrary, I loved it. I licked some off my fingers and then scooped more off my neck. He buckled up and bolted out of there like I was going to kill him or something. I licked it all off myself in front of the mirror. It didn't taste so great really, but it was different. Then Jimmy showed up, and I pushed him straight into the shower. He didn't protest much as I shaved his legs completely, his ass, his balls. Eventually he figured out I'm going to give him a landing strip and he started whining about that, but it didn't last long. I did his chest and arms afterwards, and his armpits too. It took more than an hour. Jimmy isn't very hairy, for a guy, but guys really have a lot of hair on them. Then we both lotioned, or I should say I lathered myself and then him. His cock was straining in despair, so I got him some ice cubes in a mug to help it settle down. It wasn't time yet. I think he had already figured out he was going to have to wear some of the lingerie, because he didn't protest much when I took him by the hand into the bedroom and he said the two sets laid out on the bed. I put on the white, he put on the pink. He had the nicest, laciest panties to go with his trainer bra. I had the most revealing demi I could find and very narrow thongs. After showing him how to put the stockings on and strapping everything, his cock held up under the band of the panties, I went for my Summer dress. It's very light and breezy. That surprised him, but I threw his dockers at him and he had covered up his little secret in minutes.

Then the door dinged. I was all smiles, "Why hello there stranger!" I said "You must be Malcom. Jimmy told me all about what a hot stud he's working with, but hot damn! It's still a shock!" I laid it on him pretty thick. They sat down at the table, I brought over the food, I mean I just threw the pizza in front of them, didn't even take it out of the box, and started pouring the wine. They started eating that shit and yakking like idiots, barely looking at each other. I just sat kinda closer to Malcom and kept touching him with my shoulder and side. Then I put my legs in Jimmy's lap so he couldn't get up. I mean of course he could, but knowing Jimmy it was as good as a ten ton anvil, he wasn't ever getting up from under my size sixes. They don't sound like that much, huh ? Try it sometime in a situation like that, and see. I said to Malcom "Hey, is it true you bully poor Jimmy a lot at work ?" He asked me who told me that, and I said a little birdy might've mentioned something. Malcom wasn't saying anything so I prodded Jimmy, "Hey, is that right ?" and he let go to the flood. It was nothing but "Remember that time" and "remember that other time" from then on, really embarrassing poor Malcom. It was like he had all the stuffing kicked out of him, like an old plushie toy that's been through the wash one too many times. The stories were pretty idiotic, tooⁱⁱ, like one time Malcom and some guys were gathered around the water cooler and Jimmy came towards them and Malcom said he bets Jimmy doesn't want any water or anything, isn't that right Jimmy, and then Jimmy had to say he didn't so then Malcom asked him what is he doing then and Jimmy was all embarrassed. Jimmy's embarrassed for a living, that's all he does as far as I've know him living with him, he really doesn't need much outside encouragement to be embarrassed like wires don't need any encouragement to tangle. Anyway, there were a lot of stories, and they were always the same thing, Jimmy'd have to this and Jimmy'd have to that for no reason besides Jimmy being Jimmy. I caught on, and I said "Malcom, the way you're telling these stories... I think I have to take off my dress now."

I stood up and pulled it over my head, showing off the racy lingerie. I mean it was lacy too, but principally and first of all it was racy as fuck. Jimmy had been getting excited as he was recounting his many stories of sameness to Malcom's half-hearted agreeing. His face kept lighting up, almost like he was getting on top of things for once in his life. Then as I threw my dress at him his face just plunged, it was like a pancake someone flipped. Malcom was just moving his lips without making any sound. Eventually he stuttered "I... I thought you two... wasn't she... isn't he... fiance ?" I said "That's right, Malcom. I'm his fiance, and look how he treats me. Look how he neglects me. If I were your fiance wouldn't you educate me ?" He was just looking dazed, but I went on. "I'm just a dumb girl, I don't know what's what. I need a big strong man to show me how to behave. Don't you think so ?" I said, getting closer to him all the while, eventually kneeling by his side and rubbing my breasts on his thigh and looking up at him with big wide open eyes, saying all the words breathy and slutty. He was tenting something fierce, but strangely Jimmy was tenting even more! I said to Malcom "Show me who's my daddy. Take me over your knee and spank the slut out of me, Daddy. Show Jimmy how it's done, how a real man does it." He was frozen though, so I had to squirm myself into his lap, but once I was there he started feeling my ass cheeks with his hand and even sorta fingering me a little through the panties. I just moaned and begged him to spank me into submission.

He wasn't doing much though, and Jimmy was just sitting there panting, mute, so eventually I had to make my biggest mistake. I told Malcom if he spanks my ass red I'll have to tell him a big secret. Somehow that got him going. He landed a good dozen swats on my butt, a couple of them stinging pretty excellently. I had to tell him. I said "Malcom, you have to make Jimmy take off his dress too. You'll see." He didn't have to say anything. As he heard me Jimmy jumped to his feet, and ditched his dockers and dress shirt. Malcom's face was all round holes, and he was panting hard. I said "You see what a little bitch he is, Daddy ? Jimmy's just a faggot sissy cuck. You have to make his fiance suck your cock right in front of him, Daddy. He has to see her suck your big, thick, fat, juicy manhood." I was caressing his megatent softly and kept going, "Show me what a real man has between his legs. Make me not be able to touch his anymore, Daddy. He's disgusting. Jimmy's got a little worm."

That somehow sent him over the edge. I could feel him deflate. I desperately dug through his zipper, trying to somehow recover the dying souffle, but there was no helping it. I took to licking the splooge off his balls and shaft, sniffing his boxers all the while. Better than the pizza delivery guy, that's for sure, and just as different. Black men smell very different down there, I had no idea about that before. It's a thrill. I didn't stop baby talking and cooing him the whole time, now and again throwing Jimmy a bone too. I could feel him coming back to life. Once he was in working order again I lost no time. I couldn't afford another surprise deflation I didn't think. I just pushed my panties to my ankles and sat on it in his lap. I had to move his hands so he'd support me by my breasts myself! Then I gestured for Jimmy to come closer. He crawled over, and once he was close enough to touch I just held my face very close to his while Malcom pumped me regular and said to him, as throaty and sultry as I could make it, "If he knocks me up you have to marry me, Jimmy. You know that, don't you ?" He nodded his head, but I made him say it. I made him say lots of things, "Sure I'll marry your knocked-up slut ass. I'll raise all your babies you make with other men. I'll pay for their college. I'll work really hard so they get to go to Emery and all the good colleges I couldn't go to." It was really working him up, I could tell, as if he thought the name of the college was why he "had" to do all the things he thought he has to do.

Sunday morning there was a call for me, on Jimmy's phone. He handed it to me like I had just caught him playing with himself. It was Malcom's fiance. She wanted to see me. I said sure. She said she already sent the uber. Half hour later I was ringing the doorbell of their mansion. Really, it wasn't Malcom's or his parents'. It was her parents'. She opened the door and looked me over, then without saying as much as hello grabbed a fistful of my hair and dragged me inside. I kicked my shoes off on the way. She tore my clothes off me and slapped my face hard while holding my hair tight with the other hand. She said "You stupid whore!". I said "Yes ma'am." Then she started kicking me. I went down on my knees, turned her around so she faced the wall and went straight for licking her asshole. That softened her, a lot, and fast. She started moaning and crying. I put my tongue inside of her as far as I could reach. I felt a fart bubble up like mineral water and then fill my mouth. I breathed it out through my nose. That bitch could fart! She started rubbing herself and reaching inside of herself with the other hand. She was spasming on my tongue and dripping on my chin.

Eventually she collapsed in a heap in front of me. She started sobbing. She told me she's pregnant with Malcom, that they were going to be married. She was desperate, frantic somehow. He asked me what should she do now ? I told her she should marry Malcom, of course. She looked at me with her eyes open wide. "What about you ?" she asked. "I'll be your maid, of course." I told her. That blew her mind. I was hired that same day, they made me maid uniforms too, and not just slutty ones either. We had our babies at the same time, 5 AM of the same morning. She had a wonderful baby boy. They called him Malcom jr, just like his daddy. I had a beautiful baby daughter. I called her Zuskë. Anita made me her son's wet nurse after that. She doesn't have much in the way of breast anyway. I loved the new job. I spent all day naked in the nursery, lying down with the children, letting them suckle me and play with me any way they wanted, just like an animal woman. One day I discovered Zuskë will suckle anything right after starting on my nipple. I played with her that way ever since. I'd let her suckle my breast to the count of five, then she had to suckle Malcom jr's tiny baby penis for a count of six. At first she'd stop, but after some practice she just looked into my eyes and kept doing it, until I put her back on my tit. She went from six to ten and twenty and over in less than a week. Then I started her on sucking his little baby asshole too, just for old time's sake. That's how I met her mother, after all!

Anita walked in on us while we were doing that one day. She got really excited. "What the hell do you think you're doing ?" I shrugged. "Nothing. I'm just teaching my daughter to be a good servant for your son, Ma'am." I told her. I guess that was the biggest mistake of them all, huh.

1. The reader will calculate the monthly rent on the dorm and on the studio on this basis. [↩]
2. The web 2.0 turns out on re-examination to be exactly the spurious piece of hollow bullshit it's famous for. Here I stupidly spent ten-fifteen minutes going through the (very fucking abunant!) offerings on "bullying", yet somehow, no mater how elaborately refined my searches got, I couldn't turn out one singe usable story.

   There's fifty thousand "experts" who hope to make their career out of "handling" this "problem" they imagined exists (like the moron who "I am a college professor who conducts research primarily using the methodologies of Autoethnography and Narrative Inquiry, whose etymology is grounded in the power of story", or the other moron who couldn't take the pressure of... having to cancel a vacation for his "I was an investment banker for a Wall Street firm", because he had already sunk $2k non-refundable in it and so '''was bullied''' into doing his fucking job and "ultimately, that incident was a tipping point for him, he ended up quitting to start his own company about six months later" -- he's now the COO of "The Slumber Yard", Reno, Nevada), and exactly ZERO fucking backing in fact for any of it. [↩]