Il Volpone, redone -- the remainder of the first Act.
ACT 1. SCENE 2.
A Drawing Room In Volpone's House. Volpone, Voltore, Corbaccio and Corvino are seated around a table covered in thick green brocade. Rosalba, in her maid uniform, is kneeling at Volpone's left side while he is resting his arm on her head.
Volp[one] (impatient) : Whose turn to speak ?
Corv[ino] (very honeyed) : Just like in the fable of that able Greek,
The turn belongs to he who asks so chic.
Volp[one] (frowning at the would-be flatterer) : One.
Volt[ore] : Your luck tonight's second to none.
Corb[accio] : It is! I can't remember last I won.
Rosa[lba] (apart) : The night before your wife made, by herself, a son.
Volt[ore] : Three here.
Corv : And for me as well.
Corb : The same.
Rosa : (apart) Kings, queens and aces slaughtered to discreet acclaim.
Corb : Play as it might in rivers or in ponds,
Water to sea returns, leaving behind all bonds.
Volt : 'tis to be seen how Fortune yet responds.
Volp : Ten ducats.
Corv : Rats.
Volt : Add cats, and bats, and broken hats.
Corb : Again you win, Volpon'esteemed and brave
It is yet more your wit that gave us such a shave
I fear for now I'll have to sadly waive
Such pleasure as I must confess to crave
In being by your hand rendered a knave.
Volp : Awe, come, come, luck's just a splashing wave.
Corb : At your pleasure I remain your humble slave.
ENTER MOSCA.
Mosc (disdainfully avoiding Rosalba, places a cup by Volpone) : Your canarino.
Volp : Who asked for it though!
Mosc : I heard it mentioned that the roe
Or swordfish, or perhaps the dough
Lay heavy, and your Eminence soughed.
Volp : What are you called ?
Mosc : Mystybald.
Volp : Too long. I'll call you simply Miss. Are you appalled ?
Mosc : Quite galled.
Volp : Then make your choice : Miss, or Bald.
Mosc : My full name's Mosca. Mosca Mystybald.
Volp : Mosca, haul that away. It knots my fauld.
And why is the game stalled ?
Corb : Whose turn ? What cards ? Quick, quick, we play.
Corv : A half-ducat on this hand I'll weigh.
Volt : Your half, and still two more I pay.
Corb : Too rich for me, I'm out the way.
Volp : To half and two again ten more I say
And let me tell my joy to see you all so gay!
Corv : That daring surge made of my poor venture prey.
Volt : Go in ten ducats ? Nay, not I.
Volp : Wonder at this, apaired tens carried this fray,
Held by fortune's hand in my poor grip to slay
Proud kings that blushing queens betray.
Corb : If my poor words may be permitted to inveigh,
Such bravery and wisdom as here on display,
Not even the most invidious would dare downplay.
Corv : He who knows how to risk deserves his pay.
Our turn will by and by come 'round someday.
Volpone turns stiff and by degrees pale, and takes to jerking in his seat. Everyone jumps to his aid as he slowly through their arms makes his way towards the floor.
Corv : Quick! Quick!
Volt : The man is sick.
Corb : Make room! Don't crowd so thick!
Air! Air and some balsamic.
Open the window! Move that candlestick!
The window once opened in their hysterical excitement drives a cataclysmic draft that peels everything clean of the table and flutters the heavy brocade furiously.
Corv : Water! Bring water! Quick!
Mosc : Bubbly or still ? What kind of quick ?
Volt : He seems deathly anaemic...
Rosa : Maybe he's homesick.
Corb (growing excited) : His life doth flicker like too long a wick.
Poor, poor Volpone, so wise, so brave, and yet so sick.
Mosc (vaguely sarcastic) : Would calling for the doctor be deemed impolitic ?
Corv (hesitantly regretful) : For that profession he's always played the sceptic.
Corb (transported) : Volpone believes neither in medicine nor arithmetic.
Mosc (completely overwhelmed) : Then... should I pray ? I'm new, what's one to do ?!
Volt (sardonic) : In florid Venice, our country free, you do as it seems fair to thee.
Mosc (coming to) : Then, by permission, I will close out that banshee
Howling in through the open window, shaking the table like a pea
a hurricane in the utmost degree.
As Mosca finally puts an end to the wind tunnel Volpone opens his eyes, then closes them again, then opens one, then the other. Everyone's relieved even though everyone pretends to not have noticed.
Rosa (apart) : I fear that Heaven heard his plea.
Corb : What strange, bizarre idiosyncrasy...
Rosa (apart) : Not much more so than homosexuality.
Corb : I think our beloved's better, in actuality
We should mayhaps take him to bed, and see.
Corv : To bed, indeed, and then perhaps some tea.
Volp : B....B-B
Corb : To bed, to bed, help carry him, all three.
Exeunt.
ACT 1. SCENE 3.
The main entrance to Volpone's villa. The rain is furious, torrential ; Mosca escorts the guests one by one to their conveyances.
Enter Mosca, Corvino.
Corv : Whatever it may be that should occur tonight,
Whatever it may be that happens, as well might,
Whether he calls for priest, or notary to write,
You must send word to me, only to me, alright ?
Mosc : To tell the truth, I...
Corv : Here's a ducat, for your plight.
Mosc : Thank you, for sure...
Corv : Only to me, as well is right,
Those two feign their concern to hide their spite,
Like two coyotes over a fat corpse they fight,
All day scheming and planning, how to expedite
An old man's passing into endless night.
Exit Corvino ; Enter Corbaccio.
Corb : Here's a ducat that my wife gave me ;
Here's two more. One and two make three.
Mosc : That much I see.
Corb : Remember now, if his life should anon begin to flee,
Or should he call for priest, or notary...
Mosc : Call you immediately. I readily agree.
Corb : At any time, all night, as need might be!
Exit Corbaccio ; Enter Voltore.
Volt : A word, a secret word betwixt just we.
Mosc : Will you be pleased to ask of me,
That should he fare as you foresee,
Or should he call for priest, or notary,
Volt : Send word, immediately, only to me.
Indeed a clever lad you seem to be...
Tell me, how did the others pay their fee ?
Mosc : In ducats ; three.
Volt : They're poor, and desperate to pay upfront.
Mosc : Perhaps they thought all other course affront.
Volt : Perhaps they did ; it's naught to me.
Here's ten coins, that's three times three
It should make your own interest the easier to see.
Mosc : I readily agree.
Exit Voltore. Mosca, with a very confused expression on his face, pensively weighs the pile of gold in his palm. He is reveilled from his reverie by the loud sound of a bell, and exits.
ACT 1. SCENE 4.
Inside Volpone's apartments. Volpone is in the bath, to the side.
Enter Mosca.
Mosc : With your permission ? Signore, did you call ?
Volp : In here.
Mosc (apart) : I'm hearing like a wrawl...
Volp : The bath! Oh, damn it all!
Mosc (finding his Master) : Oh, signore. Don't you deem a hot bath dangerous at all ?
Volp : A hot bath's always good withal.
Mosc : I pray to be excused if I had thought...
Volp : That what I've left to live out's naught ?
Mosc : The others... and then earlier...
Volp (grinning with evident delight): You're in a spot.
Mosc (quite abashed) : I pray your mercy... It's really quite a lot...
Volp : What did you take off those fools ?
Mosc : Fourteen ducats...
Volp : In gold, or jewels ?
Mosc : All minted gold.
Volp : Not bad for three old mules, truth be told.
Mosc : Then there's further eighty-nine, in gold.
Volp : What's that ?
Mosc : Your winnings, signore. Behold!
Volp : Oh, they remembered!
Mosc : They did not ; but feigned forgetfulness by miracle resolved
Once they saw the door locked, the key in my firm hold.
Volp : That's rather bold.
Mosc : I beg forgiveness tenfold.
Volp : Mosca, I see you're made as if in my own mould.
I like you, thus. Nothing ever from me withhold
Nor ever give me cause to scold,
And in my service you will grow quite old.
Most profitably, of course, and...
Mosc : I am sold.
Volp : Who knows, in time, as habituation softens, and grows fond
I may conceivably make mention of your name in my... in my...
Mosc (barely containing his shocked exasperation) : Oh, Lord!
Curtain.i
———- All these being of course, mere drafts, apt criticism's liable to a most welcome reception. [↩]
