Chicadia, or photodocumentary Costa Rica on March 27th, 2020

Motto : I've been expecting you...

Chicada season this year started with a dribble ; much unlike two years agoⁱ you can actually hear other things, even in the daytime -- a rather piddly situationⁱⁱ considering the sort of unmitigated ruido these winged vuvuzelas can effortlessly pour forth. I was, I'll confess, fully expecting explosive sonic destruction this time around on the simple heuristic that it's been impossibly dryⁱⁱⁱ and these varmints probably benefit from it, like wasps and such.

Who knows, maybe they're practicing social leg distancing^iv instead.

Rural street in Costa Rica. The Informed Consent^v sign is still there, even though school's out, I fully expect never to resume again. If you think about it, why even would it ? Not like they learn anything.

Above : The place where the true heroes of teh femcrisis^vi work. Please, Mother, more of this crap and less of everything else, sa construim impreuna Planeta Pizdutelor.

Below : highway onramp. Yeah, I know it doesn't so much look like one. What can I do ?

Above & below : connector and overpass on 27 (Autopista del Sol!!!) towards Sabana. It probably doesn't mean anything to you ; it is however the first time in my life, (ie, since the early 2000s) that I can shoot the asphalt here. I don't think it was this empty at any point, including when they were building it.

Downtown San Jose, such a fucking pleasure to drive these days. This is how it always should be, truly. Kill the people.

Above : one of the most entrenched nexi of congestion, in San Pedro right next to the UCR^vii campus

Below : possibly the most inconceivable shot of them all. That I'm standing on this here spot of pavement^viii, undisturbed as you'd like, methodically encuadrando my shot... it's just... I'm without words.

Above : Pedestrian street. The first time I took Nicole for a promenade down here she nearly threw up from motor confusion driven by her naive attempt to follow the trajectories of all the half million ticos randomly perambulating in all directions at the same time backwards. "Chicago is nothing like this", well... no shit, beotch! Nothing is nothing like this, even a beehive has some method to the madness. Excepting perhaps flyblown meat. Perhaps. Yet looky that now they've managed to self-organize to a degree never before conceivable. It's true that the organization rather consists of absence, but it is unarguably organisation, what can I say. I really didn't mind the pululation so much, myself.

Below : The park's been closed. Da fuck sense this makes is anyone's guess, but I suppose the idea behind this onslaught of the state upon civil society is that they're trying to limit the venues for popular congregation. For the sake of preserving the multitude, which civil society really has neither any interest in nor properly speaking much use for, the state's proposing to gut the very thing. What the fuck's the point of there even being any people if the whole idea is you're not to prop them against that tree, lift their skirt and stuff their hole ? Hm ?

Anyways, saludos to all the misfortunates stuck in Romania, India, Brazil, and pretty much everywhere else the world over except for right here. I'm sorry your lives suck these days, to some degree^ix, but whenever I have coffee out with the sluts I think of you. We even talk about it. Does it do anything ?

Further deserted pedestrian walkways and closed parks, it's universal rather than exceptional.

Above : the phones have been taped "closed", because obviously they're dangerous. In the same vein, the legal proceedings over the case of some gringo who came here, married some local whore, she ate his money and then tried to move on whereupon he manned up and killed her were suspended because the judge noticed that they only have a single microphone, and lots of people have to be heard therefore it'd have resulted in having to pass that thing back and forth which'd have been dangerous because what if saliva droplets or somesuch.^x

Below : the buses, however, they're A-ok. Isn't this a wonder, how the god of virii himself whispered in the pseudoscientists' ears truths about how gel with a maximal alcohol content around 16% or so will do in vivo as applied by random untrained judges & other street urchins the exact same offices alcohol solutions over 60% do in vitro^xi and further that phones and microphones are dangerous while buses and bus lines are entirely unperilous ?

The end of times was always going to be funny ; and indeed -- it's fucking hysterical. Oh, oops... did I say a bad word ?

Above : Be all as it may, the doubleparking shall continue. I always suspected that'll be the last postmodern artifact to go away.

Below : On paseo de las putas, the shoe stores are mostly all closed. Dangers of infection & colaboremos etcetera. The clothes stores are however mostly all open. You suppose it's because any self-respecting slut needs clothes more urgently than she needs shoes ? It seems backwards, mine are allowed to wear heels as often as they please, even to bed^xii but rarely clothes...

Above : lots of lingerie stores also open ; a very nice practically-all-nude body stocking thing caught my eye (not here, towards the other end of this here p. de las p.) much to the delighted excitement of the young black men manning it (who, I suspect, rather expected they'd get a nude show out of the sale, because yes, I do have my slaves try things out, what the fuck, they come out of the dressing room and parade about the store to my satisfaction), but I didn't feel like crossing the street. Perhaps another day.

Below : Mercado Central^xiii, est. 1880, still open late March 2020. May it long perdure.

Above : Hannah being arrested by a very submissive, diminutively statured policeman. Her crime ? Oh, ask not of such things, we'll never be done. Suffice it to say they were just done arresting the counter (after having arrested a buncha phone booths, trees, and even...)

No fucking kidding, they've arrested a hole, like some sort of psychotic spiders on LSD (have you seen the "spiders on drugs weave webs" thing btw ?)

Above : dog's in jale! Police line do not cross! Very very bad doggy!

What did he do, though ?!

The arrestations continue : a clock with fountain, a fence, all proper subjects of law now, I'm curious what the investigation turns up.^xiv

Above : the "Alma de Cafe" thing attached to the Teatro Nacional is trying desperately to stay in business ; but not quite desperately enough to actually get a sale. We came in, see, and one of our usual waiters, sole on the premises (something we never before saw, there's always three to four on duty) most apologetically explained that we'll have to sit apart. I pointed out the notion's ridiculous, and proposed he just get some tables together like they do everywhere else ; he ran off to inquire with some appointed moron^xv, and came back apologizing, so we left.

Below : Balmoral, one of San Jose's most respectable whorehouses twenty years ago as today, has no fucking problem sitting the man and his harem. Hurr.

Above : she-devil seated on the ballustrade, admiring the chaos. You think she was complicit ?

Below : Motel Panteras. Much like mine, these panthers also sport bare tits and high heels. You think it's infectious ? Pandermic mebbe ?

Above & below : Pension Musas (heh heh) sobre nueva administracion. You in need of a muse ? Well, morn to evening only, there's a curfew.^xvi

Venganza trans would be something like "tranny vengeance", or as the Romanians put it, "pe cine nu lasi sa moara nu te lasa sa traiesti" (those you don't let die won't let you live).

Anyways, I think you get the idea. Or rather -- I figure you will, eventually. At which point you'll have even more to wilfully ignore, at great personal cost and to massive subjective discomfort.

I hope you die of it, honestly.

1. Last years' I narrowly missed by leaving for sad ole Yurp just as it was commencing. [↩]
2. Remeber that stupid cunt ? "I was in the situation room!!111!! What have you done?!?!?!?" As fucking if doing now consists of sitting, as if that's what's respectable in the world, that she hung out with a buncha stupid cunts just like herself, doing needlework while gossiping.

   As fucking if. [↩]

3. A few years ago Costa Rica got three years' precipitation within the first five months ; it... well, it pretty much hasn't rained since. I mean, at all. The lake in Sabana is dry (other than the park itself being "closed", of course). I'm not kidding around, it is and it has been bone dry for weeks, not even mud on the bottom, kids have been playing where the ducks used to go since we've been back. [↩]
4. Yeah, this is the latest line : "Hey babe... are you practicing social legs distancing ?"

   I've had great success with it ; your... inches may vary, let's say, because I don't expect you're in the mile long cock club just yet. [↩]

5. Because kids are too retarded to not run into traffic and even though they're in school we're still not going to demand they simply not run under the car if they don't intend to be fucked. Does this remind you of anyonething ?

   What the fuck are the idiots learning in that supposed "school" if very basic "do not ask for what the ass can't carry" isn't on the curriculum ? What, they can master addition and multiplication but not self-preservation ? For the same money they could just as well stay the fuck home, there in the situation room, help Hilary with her prayer & needlework. Don't you find ? [↩]

6. You realise just how fucking jealous you will be in a year or two, when it becomes retrospectively evident (like it always does) that not only I had been right all along, but actually the reason your hair was "inexplicably" wet at the time had everything to do with me pissing on your head ? [↩]
7. Universidad de Costa Rica, the local "state" University. Quite as full of "feminismo radical" and assorted fashionable nonsense as you'd expect from the contemporary dumbas. [↩]
8. The fuckhotel aforementioned in despatches is cinquenta metros behind me [↩]
9. Quite a notable degree, at that -- from what I hear the Romanian army is now on the streets enforcing the end of times ; whereas in Brazil the president came up with the right idea ("forget about all this prevention bullshit, the disease is worse than the cure, MP was right, we should all just listen to him instead of you supposedly scientific dumb fucks") to which the various provincial governors came back with the self-obvious "lulz, no, we like the plebs being off our streets". Maybe they duke it out, who knows, civil war in Brazil just as I was to visit...

   Anyways, sucks to be you. But, with any luck, maybe you don't have so long to wait. [↩]

10. What sense this makes is anyone's guess, indeed latrines aren't dangerous even though all shit in the hole, but for as long as nobody sucks anything back in it's all... gravy, let's say. Who knows, maybe the way they use microphones here is different from the way they use them where they were invented, and in practice closer to the way they use dildos (where dildos were invented). Or maybe it's simply that nobody went to school, because it was closed while they were growing up. Or whatever else, not like it makes any difference to me (though it probably will, to you -- but then again... what can you do). [↩]
11. I'm not going to belabour the difference between what things mean in the lab and what things mean in your daily practice, for values of "things" such as "to wash", chiefly because it's a topic that comes after primary education which manifestly never happened, so non lieu. [↩]
12. Isn't it fun to fuck a chick in 8 inch stilettos, by the way ? If they're firmly attached around the ankles you get like a bonus handle on her! [↩]
13. A sort of thing very much like where the virus first moved on from its defunct original host to some elderly Chinese -- a succession of slabs upon which produce variously rests, and buyers mill about. They have one even in Minsk! I bought a whole smoked eel there, much to the seller's giddy shock & awe ; but I didn't get any eel viri from it.

    Or did I ? [↩]

14. Do you know the joke with the Romanian police looking for a bear and the misfortunate rabbit they caught ? [↩]
15. There's this class of people who've never worked a day in their life, never earned a red cent or could earn it to save their life, yet have conventionally been placed in a position of power and control. It is a very stupid convention, they ruin everything. Get the fuck rid of them, they're neither needed nor useful, and the pretense to my knowledge and understanding they attempt to trade upon entirely hollow and exactly as spurious as they are. [↩]
16. Untranslatable Romanian joke, "cur" means ass, and composes words such as curva (whore). [↩]