My very own, never before published, slut-famous, crab dip recipe
I nearly wrote "crab dick" kekekeks.
But anyway, this is a versatile recipe, like the craborgan in question. Its unyielding, underlying base is leftover seafood. So you've paid good money for a half dozen live lobsters, and now there's all these little bits and pieces left that can't, properly speaking, be served as such at a state dinner ? Perfect! Or did you buy some crabs and then couldn't eat them all ? Excellent. And if not, do not despair -- the cock's I'm sorry, the dip's so very flexible enough as to make do with even something like surimi!
The other part is dairy. In this most recent installment I used low-fat goat yoghurt, which worked splendidly well. In Romania I'd use the world-famous sour cream there called "Smintina Gospodar" by Napolact. Other places I'd use other things, even burata works well -- it's supposed to be this barely congealed collection of milk protein with most of the hydration and all the fat left in.
The third part (only in play in a colonial setting, such as today) is aguacate, also known as avocado -- though in more settled circumstances you can readily substitute alcachofa, aka artichoke hearts. So you've made six dozen hearts for dinner and half survived uneaten ? Perfect!
Then you will want tarragon (fresh), dill (fresh), possibly lovage (perhaps replacing the dill). Add a whole sweet onion and a head or two of garlic (plus perhaps some olives) if going down the colonial path, a good swig or two of Worchestershire sauce in any case, and good cheese (Grana Padano works well, as does pecorino, as does anything reallyi -- even Danish blue!) if instead you're doing Old World style and there's no vegetal matter in your dip (in which later case, go lighter on the flowing dairy and make the whole thing fondue). There is no call to add any salt.
The other item participating is a powerful kitchen robot, because you're to basically blend the foregoing. Most two bit blenders can't take the abuse, so think things through before you start. In fairness, it should be mentioned that the very sluts you're feeding do make in fact most excellent kitchen robots by their very nature, and quite adequately powerful for any tasks up to and including dragging the kitchen around in the Cartesian space, so you can always put them to hard use and have the whole thing chopped finely with machetes in no time!
It goes exceedingly well on freshly baked bread, as well as on freshly augmented tits, and on all other manner of domestic freshness and frescura you might on your own and of your own power come up with.
Up with, is the point, you get it ? Upwith.
Upwith, and may I modestly advise for Veuve Cliquot (a good French wine) on the side.
———- Not really anything-anything, don't be putting Schweizer in there for chrissakes. [↩]
