Minsk Central Market, locally known as Камароўскi рынак

Tuesday, 09 July, Year 11 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

The market is well worth seeing, but before we get there let's take a moment to closely inspect my passport.


Now, knowing I actually landed here on the 2nd of July, doesn't the latter part of that "02 07 197 " string in the middle of the entry stamp strike you as somewhat oddi ? The year isn't 1970anything, nor has it been, and for a while now. Right ?

Except, of course, for Minsk. It's been 1974 here for a while, like since 1966 or something.


Slut-madeii deviled eggs, out of locally sourced ingredients. Quite delicious not to mention vehemently delectable, especially served with slices of the best smoked salmon I ever had and the (proper!) kapja red peppers they have here.

How many people do you know who actually had deviled eggs in Minsk ?

But anyways, ready or not, here we go : MARKET!!!





Above : chanterelles, by the bucket. It's a fungus, mind you, not a mushroom.

Below : woman, quite very delighted with a view towards tickled pink to be selling us things. The things included the first set of proper pecan nuts I've had in a whileiii, also raisins, dates, almonds, dried plums, pumpkin seeds ("tigva, tigva!" she happily elucidated for us) and so on.



Above : dried and smoked fish counter.

Below : captor proudly showing his capture : a foot long smoked eel. Have you ever had smoked eel ?



The menu of this very nice cafe we visited, to restaurate and refresh. In detail above, pie with a cowberry. Your guess is as good as mine's merry. In detail below, a delicious pot. As you can well see for yourself, the pages have been dully rubberstamped as well as countersigned, so no kind of falsification may be suspected -- the menu's genuine!



Above, herring under old. Below, Morse buckthorn.



Above, sweetmeats Orbit. Below, cocktail tincture on horseradish.



Above, tea with balm. Below, coffee with balm. Who told them to put the balm on ? Nobody can predict what a balm does!



Above : potato-village -- possibly, Kroshka's homeworld. What do you mean what Kroshka ? Kroshka Kartoshka!

Below : Draniki with caviar in princely style. For the innocent reader, let us likbez these draniki : they're subsistence farming potato dumplings, about as princely as a can of beans. Tender vittles with vested stock options, or if you'd rather ramen noodles in tenure style.



Above : fresh vegetable with home beds.

Below : the soup I ordered.iv No home beds necessary, I have my own. On the left there's pie. I originally ordered cabbage, mushroom (which here pretty much means hribi) and bacon pie, but the girl with the prettiest smile I've seen in a while regretted to tell me that they only havev red fish with broccoli pie. "What red fish, salmon ?" Yes indeed salmon, so I was treated to salmon and broccoli in a thick curdy sour cream filling. And then I had some cvas!



Rub the fish for good luck!

  1. The item was examined upon entry by a knockout gorgeous babe I didn't have the presence of mind to ask out. She used ultraviolet-enhanced magnifying glasses and all sorts and manner of other such tools. Chick knew her shit, so much so that I was seriously hoping the damned thing's genuine -- because if it weren't... well, let's just say I have little doubt she'd have sniffed it out.

    In other words, secret service top of class girly doing her six weeks at the border booth, and travel-dazed me has not the presence of mind to pick her up right then and there. See how I squander my opportunities ?

    For shame. []

  2. It's true that I helped ; but in fairness it's also true I'm a bit of a slut myself. []
  3. And the absolute first my North-America sourced cunts ever had -- the tasteless sad shit they abusively call "pecan nuts" over there having about as much to do with the genuine article as Norwegian pineapples or Argentinian submarines have to do with their respective aspirational items. []
  4. Speaking of soup, the weather here's been pure London! At no point was the sky anything other than half-storm half-sunny, and quite literally if you don't like the way it's raining outside go have some soup, it'll change by the time you're done. []
  5. Speaking of strange supply issues : they appear to be entirely out of sulfametoxazole. Country-wide. What the ?!

    In other lulz : try and find out who discovered this bacteriostatic, and when. The internet's a vast repository of human knowledge, right ? Hit it. []

Category: La pas prin lume
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4 Responses

  1. [...] dish) you clean and prepare : pickled shrimp ; pickled octopus ; salmon and sturgeon roe ; smoked eel (it should come in large chunks to be BITTEN OFF and GNAWED AT!!!), three kinds of pickled [...]

  2. [...] the Minsk central market, the vendors got the drop on you! Fortunately for everyone involved, they also have fine delicious [...]

  3. [...] : the Kiev market ; not quite as expansive as Minsk's, and arguably not as well supplied -- though I did find some absolutely excellent salmon, salmon [...]

  4. [...] of slabs upon which produce variously rests, and buyers mill about. They have one even in Minsk! I bought a whole smoked eel there, much to the seller's giddy shock & awe ; but I didn't get [...]

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