Freddy Got Fingered

I never before reviewed this filmⁱ, notwithstanding it's mentioned as "the canonical summation of the 90s".

It is all that, it stayed all that. In retrospect I'm glad I never wrote about it before, because in all honesty... I did not have the requisite intellectual maturity to write about it before. Had I tried I'd have fucked it up.

Tom Green takes a steaming, flavourful shit on "the miracle of birth", you realise thisⁱⁱ ? The emerging femstate was deeply butthurt by the procedure, exactly as you'd expect, and entirely incapable to meaningfully engage the matter, also exactly as you'd expect. They've been studiously ignoring it hence, too. Because that totally does something, in girlyhead lalaland.

In the context of ye olde "when did America end" line of inquiry, Tom Green provides some very ready ethnological notation of great scholarlyⁱⁱⁱ value : it wasn't the fucking smartphones! The 1990s^iv white young male was already lazy, lost and useless ; Jobs' efforts were entirely coincidental. Yes they caught on -- but with or without the iPhaeces, suburbia was still churning out a whole lotta "I paid for his god damned college" Gords, and on an exponential curve driven by positive feedback loops at that! Their normalization was merely a matter of time, and would have besmirched any random artefact of the time equally and in the same manner.

The man's a sort of cinematic Kurt Cobain, even though Quentin Tarantino^v did way the fuck a better job figuring out the "zebras" in America thing^vi. He even gets the ending located almost-right, I mean... Pakistan, Afghanistan, what the hell's the difference. Right ?

1. Freddy Got Fingered, 2001, by and with Tom Green, also starring an excellent Rip Torn and an entirely forgettable typical-90s-girl (some no-nudes/no-tits Minnesota blondy). And let's not forget Drew, the wifey. [↩]
2. No, not just the centrifugal delivery ; nor just the "I just want to stay indoors and suck your cock" fucktoy. Nor just the fat yet spurious "social worker" nigger. The whole thing, okay ? [↩]
3. Scholarly and not "scientific", because anthropology and its skirtings are not scientific activities. They're scholarly disciplines. [↩]
4. Remember back when "I made them on my computer" was akin to saying "I live on a golden dirigible" ? Remember when my pound of Motorola hanging by the belt hipside was cooler than all the skateboards in the world ?

   Forty fucking million Deutsche Marks, Bob!!! [↩]

5. There's not that many culturally important men of the 90s ; at any rate not in America. [↩]
6. You got this, right, the subtext is that "African-Americans" aren't really black anymore than they're really white. [↩]