Dance Flick

Dance Flickⁱ is easily the best product of the ultimate sellout crew. Obama might've acted white enough to get into the White House, but the Wayans acted white enough to beat all other blackface shows offa the face of the Earth!

The film's funny. Excessively, painfully funny. It's all built out of visual gags atop a thoroughly & viguriotously post-structuralist understructure with no shits given whatsoever ; unlike the earlier offerings it makes no concessions, and especially no attempt at placating the tedious nigger lobby, or for that matter anything else. The first time Hannah's duck ever encountered fish (in the shape of some leftover sushi) it ate, what ate, it vacuumed that shit up like it was not ever coming back ; this little squeaky toy with a stubbly little beak, chomping on tiny trocitos the size of its deglutitory canal for dear life. Then it got a little amazed, singleminded dedication subsiding in its tiny velociraptor eyes, suddenly awash in confusion. Then it lost the battle : took one half step backwards, grew dizzy, its head shaking, its grain-sized knees buckling. The diminutive beak opened and it hoarked chunks about, around and all over, with this indicible expression of regret. The overstuffed minigullet emptied with a faint hiss, like a two ounce leather bag someone packed pneumatically. And then it came through : shook its head, got again its bearings, and attacked the little piles of vomitfishchunks, to get back at least a little bit, a small part, something! Until this film, that was the definitive visual representation of this lizzardbrain drive -- but since this film, the dude dipping his hamburger in his own vomit for relish... how, tell me how can you beat that ?

The scope is uncharacteristically ample for blacksploitation (which it still is, of course it is, what the hell could it ever be -- it's with blacks, innit ?), it even includes a Little Miss Sunshine parody! And the lead's fucking ugly, and there's not even any drive to "marriage" and the rest of the retarded "romantic" firm requirements of the tedious old cunt lobby...

I'd say you should see it, mostly because every time someone watches this thing Bing Crosby date rapes an underage niece of Al Shrapton's in the "custodian" closet of a DNC fundraiser. #metoo

1. 2009, by and with a buncha Wayans (illustrations below) and Tarah Paige (the stripper poledancing scene).

   

   

   

   Aaand since you'll probably need the white trash also...

   

   

   

   

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