Hey, women! Did you know that before the Pantsuited Hilarity gave you your civil rights, you were living in slavery ?

Me What's "the big town" nearby ?
Her Pullman has Washington State University. It's a little bit bigger, but since I've moved here, I've only been up to Spokane once. I've been to Boise, about 6 hours south pretty often though.

Me Ever go to Seattle ? Or Portland ?
Her I lived not far from Seattle in elementary school. I loved it. If I was to move around in the states again, I'd go there. Portland though, I can't remember the last time I'd gone. A loooong time ago though, I'm sure.

Me So, have you ever eaten in a restaurant ? I don't mean a sysco joint, TGI Tuesdays w/e. I mean a proper restaurant.
Her No time recently. I'll take myself out for gyros, sometimes. But it's a little hole in the wall sir.

Me I'm quite the pompous asshole, I go to $100 a steak places and whatnot.
Her What kind of steak costs 100 bucks a pop sir?!

Me A good one.
Her Kobe beef crusted in gold leif?

Me Lol.
Her You're sitting there thinking about all the things you've eaten that were covered in gold, arent you?

Me Actually, I'm quite curious what'll happen when I have them set a proper Porterhouse before you. I guess we're going. log/2018-01-16 << that place. Ever had say, Veuve Cliquot ? Or French wine generally ?
Her I'm in America, and I'm not 21. Fancy wine is a luxury that I've been denied if only for my youth.

Me Ahahaha.ⁱ You're getting drunk, bitch. Ever been drunk ?
Her Every once in a while I indulge in a few shots of whiskey or bourbon.

Me Speaking of which, you know I just realise I ~only~ saw you naked ? This is very fitting, but now I'm curious, How do you dress ?ⁱⁱ
Her I don't believe I'm the most intelligent girl on FetLife or anywhere else, by any stretch of the imaginationⁱⁱⁱ, sir. But I will forever have a debt of gratitude to you for finding me there, and taking a gamble on a new horse. Give me just a moment and I'll show you some of my favorite outfits. And as I'm sure you'd noticed, I don't wear a lot of makeup. I've got a skin allergy to most of it so I save it for special occasions. But I could make it a goal to add it into my routine if you prefer me with it.

Me Do no such thing ; I doubt you can afford to buy anything that won't ruin your skin currently^iv, and I don't want your skin ruined.
Her I have scars on my face that date back sir, I'm afraid that in some ways it is. I've a deep scar from getting hit with a rock. And some deeper scratches that will never go away, one from a cat when I was 3 (I think I have a subconscious fear of cats because I never keep them for long), and one from my mothers nail in trying to slap me once.

Me How did you get hit with a rock ?
Her I took a summer job on a farm (I wanted to learn a bit of mechanics, my dad wanted to spend time with me ~barely talked for 3 years~^v, and they wouldn't take out taxes because in some parts of the country, under the table transactions are still a thing^vi). Anyways. They gave me an industrial weedwacker to mow Cheatgrass and other various weeds around it. Which is all well and good aside the fact that those things grow in very dry and rocky ground. I was lucky I had a jacket, a bandana for my face and a pair of sunglasses that day or I'd have been a lot worse off. The rock shot up and pinged me so hard, a shard got caught in my skin. I got the rock out but it had gotten infected. Now there's just a ball of scar tissue on the right side of my face.

Me Not really that visible is it.^vii
Her The color is finally fading out. It's taken a while for the inside to heal.

Me You're also growing a little bit of a belly, are you.^viii
Her I'm lucky that's all I've got. I'm hoping my family will end my line. All of us should swear never to have children because we're so backwards. My brother has it, my sister has it, my mother and grandmother have it. My dads is as hard as a rock. I exercise every day, but it wont disappear. My legs are great and I like my tits, but rib to hip is a problem spot I hope I still have time to correct.

Me I quite like your attitude, slut.
Her Which aspect of it sir? I think you can infer a feew things about me from that anecdote.^ix

Me Try telling the average 20something girlie she's got a belly, eh.
Her They get offended? Cry?

Me Well some kind of nonsense.
Her Maybe so.

Me Not that it'd get them anywhere, but you're quite enjoyable. I'll tell you a secret :
Her A secret, sir?

Me The reason it won't go away is the following : the body has a few avenues of disposing with toxins. One of them is excretion -- through urine, faeces, respiration, perspiration ; another is metabolization, they get turned into other things. The problem is that there's a class of toxins which are too large molecules to be effectively excreted, and happen to be outside of what enzymatic pathways can break down. These are generally liposoluble, and so there's the third way to dispose of toxins : fat burial. The reason it's your belly and not your forehead is because the toxins originate in the gut, and get buried there. They're, in other words, stuff you eat. The reason they're outside of what enzymatic pathways can break down, you tell me. Let's hear ?
Her Is it genetics sir?^x

Me Nope. They're not substances which the human body is used to. How does the human body get used to substances ?
Her Exposure

Me Quite. These HAVEN'T been around for 100s of thousands of years in the environment, so the liver could adapt to them, like sugar has, or alcohol. Tey're new. Which means ? The reason your mother and you and your sister and so on all have it is because you're poor. Genetics may play a role, but it's minor. That's why Sysco has a bad name : in their quest to make cheap food for poor people, they ended up adding a whole boatload of marginally toxic crap into the food supply, resulting in the sad situation where a poor girl is almost guaranteed an un-losable belly. For as long as you keep eating them -- it stays. And for years after you stop, it'll still stay. Eventually goes away.
Her I'm sorry, I needed a moment to process that. I am almost 3 years living on my own, and for 2 of those years I was living on campus^xi and eating shit food with the meal plan because it was convenient. For the last year, I've been trying to eat healthy. But real food really isn't for poor people. I spend more on food each month than I do rent just so I can have some measure of the good stuff.^xii And it frustrates me that my family has fallen into the poor pit for years. You know most of the women from the last 2 generations in my family have had gastric bypass surgeries by their 40s or 50s?

Me I believe. The situation in the US is getting pretty dark. So now ask me again what's in a hundred dollar steak. The issue is what ISNT in it.
Her I'm not the type to envy another person's situation sir, so what do you think I should do about it? Is there some plan of action I should take besides getting rich so I can afford to eat right? Is there some bit of wisdom I can pass on to the family back home? To my brother who is still in high school and weighs more that 200 pounds? Because I don't want to see them fail. And I refuse to fail. So what do you suggest sir?

Me Stay as far away from processed food as at all possible. Don't buy canned biscuits, buy flour and make biscuits. That sort of thing. The problem is that there's no way to get decent food in the states, which is why I've not gone in 15 years now. Maybe kosher delis still work, I have no idea. The thing is, after you're clear you can distinctly taste it in anything. But not before.^xiii
Her They've got a Whole Foods store that sells 'Asparagus Water'. And I believe I know what you're talking about. I think I avoided a lot more than others, not eating the school lunch very often through high school. If I didn't pack a lunch, I usually went without because I'd rather eat a sandwich at home.

Me Yes, but bread is also a problem. I have the girl bake it at home. The truth of the matter is that the food situation has gotten SO BAD, it is not practical to live alone. Mutiple girls, you know, can take care of it. But otherwise, it's insanity.
Her I lived with a family once, the woman was going to show me how to bake bread. I could hardly get enough of it. It was amazing. I've just got no one to teach me and no one do it with.

Me There's a lot for a slave to learn.^xiv But yes, "modern democracy" has degraded the quality of life of the poorest people significantly. Before "civil rights" the bottom 10th had it a lot better than they do today.

1. Many moons ago, MP was buying something in a CVS/Pharmacy, and noticed the clerk. Upon being asked what time she gets off and whether she wants to go out for a drink, she retorted that she has a boyfriend, to which his Lordship myself retorted that he doesn't care, to which she blushed and proffered that she's too young to go out for drinks, at which point my film tore. Yes, quite like in one of those antique cinema projectors. Because what the fuck, completely mature body that's been a biological woman for half a decade by now... needs fucking permission ?! What sort of show are these retards running over here! [↩]
2. She dresses in rags, basically. But then again, what's to be expected of "the richest country in the world", eh. [↩]
3. Actually, I believe she's the most intelligent girl on Fetlife, and by a significant margin. I base myself on the following reasoning : my bot has meanwhile spoken to about one third of all the females under 30 on that site. As far as results go she is so far above the average of the rest of the top ten that it is my statistically educated guess the sample'd have to be two to five orders of magnitude greater for even odds at a repeat. Take this judgement with all the grains of salt you can find, but honestly I don't readily see where you'd find one.

   Bear also in mind that performance comparable from a woman over 30 is probably to be associated with experience and education, rather than intelligence. [↩]

4. I don't think you understand just how bad this is. Let's put it this way : both me and the girls have been wondering in wonderment for a year now at the incredibly poor quality of facial skin in this country. Slightly under half!!!! of the girlies have some degree of chemical acne going. It's fucking terrible, and plainly sad to look at. Now consider that almost none of the boys seem to get it (with the exception of the fairy-looking ones!), and tell me what the fuck are the Chinese putting in those half dollar dusts! [↩]
5. Yes, she's doing my underlining style now, not that she actually understands how it works. What can you do. [↩]
6. Oh, in some parts of the country, I see, I see. [↩]
7. I went back and checked to see if she actually does left-side profile, hiding her right. She... doesn't. [↩]
8. Try this in conversation, motherfucker. I dare you, I triple dare you, fucking try this in conversation. Girl you just met, 0th date so far, go ahead, TRY IT. [↩]
9. Yeah, totally, maybe I meant the Galtonism, who knows. [↩]
10. You understand the problem with "popular education" ? "Oh, it's genetics" now. Genetics don't fucking work the way people who don't understand statistics imagine they work for fucks sake already! [↩]
11. I suspect this is quite the sore spot for her. She's completed a couple of years of an ambitious double-major programme at a sluts&jocks university (hey, great nurse education center!) and... If you give her a hard time about it I'm going to come over and fucking bash you. [↩]
12. You know 1990s Romanians were doing the same thing, and fucktarded cornsyrup-fed NGOrasts imagined "Romanians are just weird" ? They're not fucking weird, they've just got more discerning palates than the fucking French. YOU are weird, with your capacity to ingurgitate fucking styrofoam. [↩]
13. Girl that visited family recently spent a week trying to pick through the offerings there, came back with a horrid case of diarhea that spontaneously cleared by the next evening. [↩]
14. She's now got a fantasy about me fucking the bakress while she gets to watch. I can see why, there's something deeply sexual about bread. [↩]