Englezu' e cel mai prost dintre oi

Earlier this morning,

diana_coman aia putinii de nu-s cazuti in cap or fi prea prinsi cu altele sa stea de online dat fiind ca e in mod evident plin de idioti
mircea_popescu asa ma gindesc si io
diana_coman idioti vocali presupun, ca nu-i ca-s lipsa altminteri
mircea_popescu "superinformatia megastrazii uneste oamenii! in tot ce au ei mai..."
mircea_popescu plm, nici irl nu vrea nimeni sa locuiasca linga sosea.
diana_coman mda; doar aici in marele ukuk am vazut faza asta: "case" facute pe o fasie practic intre...calea ferata si autostrada
diana_coman si m-am uitat de curiozitate: nici nu-s mai ieftine cumva
diana_coman care dracu' plateste morman ca sa stea...intre tren si tiruri
diana_coman ma depaseste
mircea_popescu englezu' ii cel mai prost dintre oi.
mircea_popescu apartamentele lor "eficiente" te ia voma sa mor.
diana_coman zici ca in esenta cat n-au fost prosti au fost ...francezi, danezi, ce-au mai nimerit?
diana_coman o fi
diana_coman n-am idee care-s alea "eficiente" dar nu ma mai astept sa aiba vreo legatura la capitolul asta cu ceva omenesc
mircea_popescu tu, is asa un tip de oaie. este un episod din mr bean in care el traieste intr-o garsoniera, si aia are tonomat de contor. deci bagi fisa, ai curent.
diana_coman ahhhhh, alea sunt "smart meters" tu, lol
diana_coman da, alta idiotenie
mircea_popescu este un film cu ala haios din monty python, in care el ii ceva profesor de scoala. si pute a saracie, tot in sensu' asta.
diana_coman ti le poti pune la ce puta vrei, nu-i cu apartamentul in sine
mircea_popescu genu' idiot care se imbraca in costum da' locuieste in 5 mp.
mircea_popescu pizda ma-tii, daca salariul nu-i destul sa-mi iau casa, sa poarte costum ma-ta.
diana_coman ah, daaa, aia cred ca e fix
diana_coman eh, pai oricum nu-s costume pe bune
mircea_popescu noa, stilu' asta de imperiu decazut, ca proastele de prin ro in anii 50. ea-i contesa.
mircea_popescu vezi sa nu fie, cu fintina-n curte.
diana_coman nici macar gen plastron sau cum erau, ci pur si simplu foi de plastic de ti-e scarba si sa le atingi
diana_coman da' "nu se mototolesc"
mircea_popescu "eficiente"
diana_coman da, aia
mircea_popescu exact aia. "bai eu prefer sa sed pe conuri de autostrada. is mai bune ca fotoliile"
diana_coman mda; altfel zis e la alegere intre ce fel de idioti sa traiesti
mircea_popescu deci ia sa public eu frumos, ma pis in gura lor de cacanari abjecti.
diana_coman lol

Now let's attempt to translate :

diana_coman those few who weren't dropped as babies are probably too caught in other things to sit online given how evidently full of imbeciles it is.
mircea_popescu i'm of the same mind.

diana_coman vocal idiots i suppose, not that there's any shortage.
mircea_popescu "the highformation superway! unites people! in all they have most..." fuck it, not like anyone wants to live next to the highway irl, either.

diana_coman myeah. only here in the great ukuk have i seen this wonder : "houses" made on a strip sandwiched between the railroad and the highway. i checked for curiosity, but it's not like they're cheaper or anything. what devil'd pay more to live... between the train and the semis. it's beyond me.
mircea_popescu the englishman is the dumbest of sheep. their "efficient" apartments make you puke i swear.

diana_coman are you saying that while they weren't dumb they were... french, danish, whatever they chanced ? maybe. i've no idea which "efficient" are those, but i've no expectation of any connection to humanity.
mircea_popescu eh, they're this kind of sheep. there's an episode in mr bean in which he lives in a studioⁱ, and it has an electricity jukebox.ⁱⁱ so, put your coin in, there's power.ⁱⁱⁱ

diana_coman ahhh, that's "smart meters", you. lol. another idiocy. but you can install them on any dicklet^iv.
mircea_popescu there's a film with the funny guy from monty python^v in which he's some kind of schoolteacher. and he stinks of poverty, also in this sense. the sort of idiot who'll don a suit but live in 50 sqft. fuck your mother. if the job ain't paying enough to afford a house, let your mother wear a suit.

diana_coman ah yeeeah, that's exactly it. not like they're actual suits anyway.
mircea_popescu that's what i mean. that ex imperial style, like the dumbasses in 50s romania. she's a countess. mind that she might be, with the well in the courtyard.^vi

diana_coman not even the 1910s efficiencies, but plain plastic sheets, too disgusting to touch. but "they don't ruffle".
mircea_popescu "efficient"

diana_coman exactly.
mircea_popescu precisely. "man i prefer sitting on traffic cones. they're better than armchairs."

diana_coman myeah. in other words, there's a vast palette of idiots to choose whom you wish to live among among.^vii
mircea_popescu let's publish this, may i piss in their mouths of abject shitheads.^viii

diana_coman lol

Now go have your/span>r fucking English breakfast. You always love a great English breakfast before sucking my dick, don't you ?

PS. Did you figure out the title ? Yes, tis vaguely inspired by "N-am vazut niciodata hot mai prost decit prostu' care se vrea hot".

Vrei sa te afirmi ? Afirma-te!

1. The Romanian word for "studio" is ~a lot~ more derrogatory than the English equivalent, a testament to the fact that Romanian is controlled by ~actual thinking people~, rather than by hired copywriters like English is. [↩]
2. The Romanian for jukebox is ~a lot~ more derrogatory than even the previous installment of this, mostly because "tonomat de muie" is how you say highway hooker. you know, the sort of girls who live out of sucking off truckers, the idea being that most of her diet comes directly -- the money's for crack not for food. [↩]
3. It might've escaped your notice that electricity is a ~continuous~ good. Like Internet connectivity, say, or like female companionship. The value of a connection is measured in nines, naught else. [↩]
4. Romanian distinguishes between the adult penis (pula) and the infantile or unerect version (puta), and also believes that the indistinct matter between girl's legs, especially while juvenile, is really the same thing. In which vein, a joke :

   Electrician comes to fix something at some dude's apartment. The dude's at work, his wife's at home busy in the kitchen and the dude's six year old is also at home, not busy whatsoever, so he chases the poor workman around.

   "Mr! Mr! What's that!"
   "It's a hammer!"
   "Ah, a hammer. Daddy has two -- a big one with which he works on the furniture and a small one with which he works on the car!"

   ...

   "Mr! Mr! What's that!"
   "It's a surubelnita!"
   "Ah, daddy has two -- a big one with which he works on the furniture and a small one with which he works on the car!"

   and eventually, the man has to go take a leak. The child unabashedly follows.

   "Mr! Mr! What's that!"
   "That's my dick."
   "Ah, daddy has two -- a small one with which he takes a leak and a big one with which mommy brushes her teeth!"

   So now you know. (And btw, I believe the Romanian word ordering convention -- brushes mommy her teeth -- is actually superior.) [↩]

5. Clockwise, with John Cleese. [↩]
6. Ie, no running water. [↩]
7. Get a better language, amongamonga. [↩]
8. Technically "cacanar" might be one who runs the truck that drains septic tanks, but in practice it's used to denote something between unpleasant and mean/cheap. It's basically how you say "Englishman" in Romanian, a language that ain't fucking kidding but rather takes the signification function pretty damned seriously. [↩]