Cemetery Junction
Cemetery Junctioni is not entirely a bad film, the Cool It Carol for this generation. On the negative side, that obviously means no nudity -- the current generation is made up of a bunch of losers. On the positive side, however, this means a true hero instead of the 70s putty man. Percival is absolutely perfect as the idealized adolescentine form of nobility, he doubtless died with Henry rather than stay at home with mommy.
On the negative side, however, everything has to be doublespoken and hidden and covered up, lest the idiots catch on. Percival isn't really Percival, he's Bruce (Pearson) but his friends call him Percy. And he's not "really" the hero, they told the story from the point of view of Sancho Panza so that all the fucktarded, accursed Sanchos stuffing popcorn in their faces aren't (god forbid!!!) shook by the "unexpected contrast to expectations". And of course, there's a huge heaping helping of "what does pantsuit imagine the political problems of the 70s were", which is beyond nonsensical, but to such a farcical degree it's almost funny again. O sopirlaii, you see, is often built by taking what the politruks want to hear and turning it to a precise 10.5.
Watchable, I suppose, but make sure you're watching it with intellectually well versed girls lest you end up throwing your date across the room.
———- 2010, by Ricky Gervais, with Tom Hughes, Ralph Fiennes, and unfortunately Felicity Jones playing some sort of obnoxious high-energy squirrel chick. If they had the sense of instead going with Jessica Jones (tall, sexy blonde in early street pick-up hero establishing sequence) it'd have been a much better film. But no, we gotta have these obnoxious "girl next door" shitheads all the time now, confound it all.
What, the inflatable dolly the hero's sidekick gets is supposed to be a person and shit now ? Spare me the idle pretense, she's a trophy, she's used as a trophy, a token in exchange. The obviously transparent reason for all the faux personhood news gargle is simply so they get away with a cheaper, shittier trophy, that's all. You get plastic gold medals now, because guess what, medals have personality and most of them are plastic so take your squirrel and shut up.
Fucking hell... Make Trophies Great Again. [↩]
- Earlier I sat down to read "El Financiero", a pompously pretentious piece of maculature they publish here. Well over 90% of it consists of translated USG jewry material, so it was all "estadounidenses" this and that and the other. Just as I was verbalizing something along the lines of "oh my god, it must suck to be born among the orcs and actually have to put up with this inane shit as "your" newspapers" I hit on their actual, homebrew content. You know what it was ? 30-something local lawyer gushing ineptly about Ethereum.
Because yeah, if you don't limit yourself to translated pantsuit, you'll get a healthy helping of fucktards who believe they won the Reader's Digest competition and assorted natural orcisms. So I threw the newspaper away, and I explained to the girl kneeling by me holding my complicated accoutrements (rum and coffee and chocolate and it gets complicated) that when I was a small child... I mean, people were in my house, my parent's house at any rate. Important people, as the way communism works, bosses of factories and whatnot, people stuck making the shit work. And they'd go through the newspapers briefly and then throw them away cursing or crumple them up.
As a very small child, I figured what was going on -- these powerful older male types were simply very unfriendly and unpleasant sorts by their nature, and that's all. As I grew a little older I figured better -- they're just irritable, see, they don't get enough sleep, what they want done is complicated and hard and so they don't get it and grow frustrated and it accumulates over time. And that's all.
You with me so far ? Because then, just around puberty, I figured even better. The fucking commies, what the everloving fuck, who can possibly read their inept idiocy and not throw the whole thing into the pit.
Except I see it now -- it has nothing to do with the commies. I thought I had it, then, but I still didn't. It's not the fucking commies, it's stupid people. Stupid people organize and through collective action arrive at "consensus", which is batshit nonsense filtered by idiots out of their own ass, entirely unrelated to any kind of reality. And then they attempt to force it upon the actual people, the only actual people, they who make shit work. Which is fucking annoying.
It's not annoying because it works, which of fucking course it doesn't, but because the only way to deal with them is to exploit the fact that they're so fucking stupid, they can't tell the difference between the item that they claim they want and any other item labeled the way they want. So the work of the communist factory boss, or of the modern thinking man universally, is to stick wrong labels on correct parts. Instead of calling things what they are, call things what things are "supposed" to be called, and then keep double accounting to make sure that everything keeps working regardless. Which is a horrible waste of time and effort, and of fucking course annoying as all hell.
Imagine, if your six year old spoiled brat had the run of the house, and "decided" that all long items are to be called screwdrivers (including the toilet plunger) whereas all flat items are to be called trowels, including the cutting board and the cereal box. I expect you'd start throwing My First Ten Words books around the house also. [↩]
