Aveam niste case...

Aveam niste case

de Constantin Tanaseⁱ

Aveam niste case pe care degraba voiam sa le vind,
Am dat un anunt la jurnale, ca sa le pot da mai curind.

Sa nu-mi bat capul cu samsari, am scris "Refuz intermediari"
A doua zi, pe la cinci jumatate, aud in usa batind cineva

Ma scol din pat ca sa vad cine bate, si cind deschid... cine crezi ca era ?
Rozenblat!

I-am spus "in anuntul meu scrie ca nu vreau samsari cu negot",
Si totusi stii ce-obraznicie acuma ma scoli si din somn

Si nici n-am vrut ca sa-l injur, i-am dat doar un picior in cur.
A doua zi, pe la cinci jumatate aud in usa batind cineva

Ma scol din pat ca sa v' cine bate, si cind deschid... pai cine crezi ca era ?
Rozenblat!

Ma-nfurii, la gura fac spume, il iau ca sa-l pun in pamint, il pui si-l intind ca pe-o guma
Si buf cu el de pamint! Si de l-al saptelea etaj l-am aruncat jos pe pavaj! Mwahahaha!

A doua zi, pe la cinci jumatate, aud in usa batind cineva
Ma scol din pat ca sa v' cine bate, si cind deschid... pai cine crezi ca era ?
Pai Rozenblat!

Am dat si-acatiste si miruri, sub mina lui Cuza am mincatⁱⁱ
M-am uns cu tamiie, cu miruri, de Rosenblatt tot n-am scapat.

La urma ca s-o scot la cap, am dat foc casei ca sa scap.
Ei, dracia dracului. Ei, ce credeti c-am patit ?
A doua zi, pe la cinci jumatate, aud in usa batind cineva

Ma scol din pat ca sa v' cine bate, si cind deschid... pai cine crezi ca era ?
Rozenblat!

Coincidentally :

1. This man, easily Romania's most notable vaudevillian, and nominally a central character of Romanian culture (so much so that the professional lives of a vast swathe of pompous nobodies spin around a theatre named for him) nevertheless does not exist online. That this here is the only written bit of his to be found on the whole web should inform you as to the importance, utility and quality of an alleged Romanian state, which allegedly exists and allegedly expends a yearly budget well into the billions ; from which it supposedly feeds something purporting to be a Romanian Ministry of Culture. In practice it could just as well be the Romanian Ministry of Funny Walks. Just like the other one. Which other one ? All of them. [↩]
2. This is beyond fucking weird, but the source is really very poor quality and well... it's what the man appears to be saying. [↩]