Internoc24 LLC aka internoc24.com is a scam, or how Milan & Dragan Slatjovic stole ~700 euro from me.

For reasons I can't fathom, the Slatjovic brothers enjoy a good reputation online.

On that basis, I ordered three dedicated serversⁱ from internoc24.com on November the 18th, notwithstanding a hefty 40 euro set-up fee for each server. I also sprung for "Bronze SLA", which promised 8 hour maximum response time on tickets. The bill was paid the same hour - it notably came just a shade shy of 2 Bitcoins.

An hour or so later, I put in a ticket discussing IP set-up (as they neither specify the IP count coming with dedicated servers nor make it obvious how one'd go about buying them).

The next day, having recieved no answer to this ticket - 8 hour SLA notwithstanding - I put in another ticket pointing out that really, I won't be standing for the sort of nonsense.

A monkey responded within minutes, informing me in the characteristic broken English of "customer support" monkeys everywhere that my ticket doesn't count because the SLA only covers "support tickets", not "sales tickets". Amusingly enough, the ticket they had by that point ignored for well over 36 hours was exactly a "support ticket" ; the ticket they uselessly answered within minutes was the "sales" ticket.

Upon my pointing this out, the monkey in question came back (also within minutes, also in the characteristic monkey English, also without bothering to check anything) with a fantastic theory about how they're not responsible for fulfilling the contractual obligations they undertook because they've not "accepted" something or the other. Ostensibly, the very terms in their tender that I had earlier accepted by paying their bill. Check out the fanciful commercial law in effect on the planet of the Apes!

So I told the monkey in question a few things, at which point Dragan Slatjovic himself came out of the woodwork, with some etrange verbiage which I didn't really punish mostly because I imagined that the entire problem was created by the monkey in question.

Next up, the esteemed CEO of the Internoc24 scam himself proceeded to apply the bait-and-switch maneuver! You see, the servers that they had sold me... they don't actually have. Why not ? Oh, because aliens came from the dog and ate the homework, and they didn't have time to update the list! Leave aside that the list had not been updated then, three days later, like it's not updated today, a month later, like it'll never be updated - would I want some other servers for more money instead ?ⁱⁱ

I shrugged amusedly at the "CEO" sitting on a couch in a messy room somewhere and spending his time trying to nickle and dime me twenny euros at a time and ok'd his petty chisel so we could proceeded to the next item on the nutty list : must use Cloudflare! Fancy that, I'm buying dedicated servers so that some schmuck can tell me what to run on them. This is the future you've built, I hope you're proud of your jwz-y selves. Anyway, I told the guy in no uncertain terms what exactly are the odds of me ever running NSA's alt-Tor, which yielded the funniest bit in the entire exchange yet :

Dragan Slatjovic // Staff
Thanks for reply.

I dont know you reason behind this, but we accept this. But please note, that any Datacenter have the right to suspend any Services if massiv DDOS Attacks are received.

An another personal Note is about your Blog Entry:

http://trilema.com/2015/internoc24-or-the-crisis-and-its-resolution/

We from Management stand behind what our Sales Manager wrotes to you.

We from Management and also our Sales Manager do our best to speak friendly and respectfull to our customer, but it also be expected from the customer to our Stuff. We dont tolerate such communication. You can not place any order and after this make trouble. You place an order while you need something and if you make some trouble (or if you try such communication) you never get what you need. Not from us, not from other Companys.

A separate note is that this communication is internal and we dont allow to publish this without ask us before.

>> Legal Note<<
This message including any insertions or attachments is
>>>> confidential and maybe legally privileged. If you are not the
>>>> intended recipient, you should notdisclose, copy or use any part of
>>>> it -- please delete all copies immediatelyand notify Internoc24 LLC.
>>>> Any information, statements or opinions containedin this message
>>>> (including any insertions or attachments) are given by theauthor.
>>>> They are not given on behalf of Internoc24 LLC unless
>>>> subsequentlyconfirmed by an individual other than the author who is
>>>> duly authorised torepresent
>>>> Internoc24 LLC

I think, by the evil communication and your occurrence, we declined to work with you. We dont often make such decision, but in this case, we dont have any other option.

Please let us know your BTC Adress and an official Emailadress, i forward this Ticket to our Billing Department, to make an exception and proceed a gateway releated refund of your payment. They also send you more information about the needed documents for the refund. (This are needed to prevent money laundering)

-------------------------------------------
Best Regards,
Dragan Slatjovic [Chief Executive Officer]
Internoc24 LLC
Company No. 5095819
-------------------------------------------

To which I replied with a terse

Mircea Popescu // Client
Alright.

1JPvucRfu3ZzEvfBUQTJwsxMrZjeTqD6zR

on November the 21st, and followed up with

Mircea Popescu // Client
I don't see any refund so far.

I'm going to give you folks a coupla more days to make good, after which I'm calling you out on my blog and you're welcome to spend as much as you've got on marketing to try and fix the unfixable.

Don't bother adding more words here, I won't be reading.

Today being the 7th of December I'd say I've been more than reasonable. You can see as well as I can that there's been no refund - and so here we are.ⁱⁱⁱ

In conclusion : scam is a scam, fake servers advertised for bait & switch, no capacity, no support even when you pay for it, lulzy notions of "ownership" over their appalling communications and, perhaps most important for the readership - if you try paying with Bitcoin they'll just try and keep your payment. Period. If you're not me and can't afford to sue, consider whatever you send them a 100% loss.

1. Dual Intel Xeon X5450 - 20GB RAM - 2x 1000 GB SATA. [↩]
2. If you're curious about a blow-by-blow of the nonsense, it's actually here : Internoc24, or : the crisis, and its resolution. [↩]
3. This doesn't mean, of course, that the Slatjovic scambrothers / Internoc24 gets to keep the 700 euros - I'll be selling the claim to whichever hungry London barrister offers more for it, so they can blow five to ten k for this just in legal costs. Idiots are, after all, the reason lawyers live well in the first place. [↩]