He who gets married....

asciilifeform BTW that cazalla thread would make for great reading alongside of the 'why not have children' thread from during c3.
mircea_popescu It's not for everyone. Actually... there's that chinese dizident.

asciilifeform Which thing is for everyone? Only death, afaik, is definitely 'for everyone.'
mircea_popescu Not even death. Definitely not for woody allen & co.

asciilifeform That article is a tough cookie for my puny brain. Consider brief spoiler ?
mircea_popescu It's insanely hard to translate, because as written it's nearly pure poetry.

asciilifeform I get this.
mircea_popescu But I shall endeavour.

So here we go :

So, concrete example : the Chinese have some sort of dissidentⁱ, I didn't exactly understand for I don't read the language, don't trust translations and don't have the patience to research, but some sort of dissident, I grok the concept. Who was preoccupied by the forced abortions that the Chinese government imposes on various pregnant women. Like for instance this one we had hereⁱⁱ, who cut up a codger because she was a whore and he was a customer and she thought to herself it'd be a good idea to cut the pig up, put aside some sausage for the coming winter. Well... and now she's pregnant, being impregnated in prison through the workings of the holy spirit, and so requests to be freed for a year so she can give birth in peace in Austria or wherever en route to Indonesia because that's the ideal motherland of these gypos, heat, filth and corruption.

So, the dissident was of the oppinion that what the fuck is the government sticking barbed wire in their cunts, instead of letting them foal I'm sorry, the miracle and so forth, we're all equal, children exist as such from the very moment they start drying up on bathroom tile and etcetera assorted pseudorefinement like only an imbecile could conceive. Oh sorry, did I say conceive ?

Anyway, the Chinese whacked him across the head, I have no idea exactly how but if it comes to it I could probably imagine. And this guy, the dissident, went crying to mommy US embassy, because hey, ever since they came up with embassies every jerkoff can be a "dissident". It's all very simple, you sit in the embassy and dissideate. That sucker Rizeaⁱⁱⁱ and those misfortunate Chechens just didn't know how to do it right, see the suckers ? Instead of going to sit in the embassy like is normal and expected if you're a pointless fuckwit. Like Mircea Badea aka Dinescu.^iv

Alright, and as the dissident was sitting and dissideating by himself in the US embassy, suddenly he made up his mind to leave. He did, alright ? He decided himself to leave. Because due to reasons. So the USians announced it - as they really felt deeply the need for one of these schmucks around, eating their smoked salmon and grilled young virgin Chinese vulvas or whatever else they had for putting in the mouth at that embassy. So they announced that the guy's leaving to some Chinese hospital to be there in safety and prosperity. You know, like Yulia Timoshenko, as it were.

And I believed them, because I have this habit of the dumb man, to believe what the USians lie. Because I was born at night and apparently blackness comes off the night directly on one's brain or something. Aaaalright. Except more recently it was heard that the guy in fact left because the Chinese flexed an' said that unless he comes out towards his mother's cunt^v they're gonna do three-four abortions on his wife whether she's pregnant or not. Which has then been denied by obviously everybody, through which everybody we understand the US side, because it ruins their whole fantastic story for cartoons-watching idiots.

At which point I was losing my temper already, because fuck their stupid mouths of imbeciles that can't decide what they want already. The USians don't know exactly what their policy towards China is, and can't make up their mind.^vi The Chinese can't figure out if this way or that, they keep babbling.^vii This smoked salmon "dissident" - for he knows not how to shoot the policeman^viii - can't make a decision already. Is he going to the embassy ? Is he staing home ? Just getting in the way of people, basically. One of those idiots stopping in the doorway, we have them here too, they go go go, open a door, jbaNG! Stuck there like by thunder, full blown paralysis. Their little brain engine^ix stopped. Until you reset them with a kick to the buttside they don't comprehend who they were, what were they doing, what time it was and who was president. Stuff like that. The agape of my cock.^x

And since I've lost my temper, let's make a rule : whosoever gets married no longer has the right to dissidence. Dissidence is for men, not for perambulatory cockheads entered in the country's reproductive register. Once you've married some chick you're done with pretense and discontent about "the social order". Not your place to comment, you get in the line as the line is and mind wiping fresh shit off the lightbulb or wherever else it may end up in a normal household with small children.

I believe it's clear enough, what I don't understand is why exactly is it not obvious ? I mean sure, if you marry some sort of Natasha of the Glade like Lenin had for a wife (and iirc Stalin, back in the day of bank robbing and being a common criminal, like any serious revolutionary communist in his youth) you can mind your dissidence onwards, as you're of the same kind. But if you take one of these dumb hos that keep getting kidnapped by the enemy... brother! What do you see yourself as, Mario ? Either learn to keep getting new ones as those dudes keep arresting them, give them children, if they take her you take another make even more children in which case they have a disincentive to keep arresting them, or else shut the fuck up and the uneployment queue is over there.

What the shit is this!

1. Russian word used by a Romanian do discuss universal matters in English with Chinese examples. Globalisation is here, it's this thing riding your naked, hooved, bit-chewing mother. Like so :

   

   Cheers! [↩]

2. "Timisoreanca" is a toponym, denoting a female from the geographical region of the city of Timisoara. "Banatu' de Frunte" is a layered and multireferential joke, which could be summarized by saying that the part of the country Timisoara finds itself in is called "Banat", because it was historically run by a Ban, sort-of like you'd call some place "the Duchy" for having been historically... a duchy. Then these twerps imagine they're very great and special, which is a pile of ridicule we're not going into, but it's roughly like Wisconsin thinking itself the foremost state because cheese - a notion petrified in the expression "Banatu'i fruncea", id est, the Banat is the forehead. Which is good, ken ?

   Moreover, the case of a young woman who was pretending to be studying, and consequently living (for free) in the campus, while also turning tricks, got together with her boyfriend and killed an elder, richer male gypsy guy (who in turn had spent many years during the communist regime in that most disgusting position of a police informant - which worked exactly like the US "justice" works, to wit, he'd sell people gold bands for wedding rings, and then call the police on them - because imagine this, in "democratic" Romania it was illegal to get a fucking wedding ring). So this was in the press at the time, all about the tramp murder. [↩]

3. Actual dissident, resisting the communists (which is why you've never heard of her - your communists don't like such people) back in the day. Elisabeta Rizea. [↩]
4. Mircea Dinescu is a leftover piece of scum from the communist days. He was moderately talented in his youth, which went nowhere, and otherwise an abject character, but careerist enough to still be around, sort-of.

   Mircea Badea is a mentally retarded Romanian version of that guy with the stupid political TV show, I forget his name - in any sense a three decade later version of the same schmuck. Amusingly enough, either of the two would be insulted by the comparison, except Dinescu's original name was actually Badea. [↩]

5. This is how Romanian is spoken, what can I do. [↩]
6. Meanwhile they figured it out. Here it is :

   [↩]

7. Technically, fonfaie denotes speech that overly involves the nose, as seen with many types of retard. [↩]
8. This is a reference to Trilema's most amply debated article at that time, which says some rather unflattering things about an entire generation. [↩]
9. Creierasu' = small brain. Motorasu' = small engine. Works better in original. [↩]
10. For the record "uluitii pulii mele" is a splendid expletive. [↩]