The fucking understudy

Saturday, 13 September, Year 6 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

I know as little about Toronto local politics as you'd expect, perhaps even less than Toronto residents themselves.

But then again, there's BitBet, and on BitBet there are bets, and those bets are guaranteed to cover pretty much the entirety of the world to its nittiest gritty. In this case : BitBet - Rob Ford will withdraw from the Toronto mayoral race before September 12th.

So therefore, discussion with BitBet Mod :

Mod: Hey, you know who Tom Ford is ?
Me: No clue.

Mod: He's this outlier running for Toronto Mayor.
Me: Aha.

Mod: He's this big man, probably pushing 400 lbs, an ex coke addict... everyone hated him even before. However, today was the last day he could have withdrawn from the race. And yesterday, he was found with some sort of tumour in his gut. But he's not just retiring, he's come up with a replacement. His brother, Doug.
Me: Okay...

Mod: Who looks exactly like him.
Me: Huh ?

Mod: Exactly like him. Fat, incredibly pasty, like that sort of sickly pinkish skin that if you as much as blow towards turns white and then returns to pink ? Buzz haircut, blond hair. They're exactly identical.
Me: So then why didn't they run the brother directly ?

Mod: Uh...
Me: He's better in all respects right ? No cocaine history, people don't know him which is better than hating him... What sort of nonsense is this, the reserve is better than the frontman, the guy that was supposedly running ?

Mod: I guess so.

Here's a promo pic :

ford_brothers

Are the Canucks making any fucking sense whatsoever ? What is this, guy goes to pick up his date in his beat up clunkler, "sorry honey, my other car is a Maserati, I keep it in the garage just in case this other one breaks down" sort of nonsense.

It makes one wonder who would have been Bill de Blasio's understudy. Leslie Cagan maybe ?

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4 Responses

  1. Wait. The fat one is the one with the cocaine problem?

  2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    2
    Mircea Popescu 
    Saturday, 13 September 2014

    They're both fat. One of them has a documented [set of] problem[s]. The other one, nobody gave a shit about previously.

  3. Doug Ford is also a Toronto city councillor. The rest of Canada still isn't sure what it all means.

  4. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    4
    Mircea Popescu 
    Saturday, 13 September 2014

    Honestly I thought they were radio hosts originally. I was shocked to see pictures of the pig in gold chains.

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