Hair, the musical

Check out this glorious image, released by Best-Korea's Best-Broadcaster KCNA as support for something or the other and widely used by nonbest-media (such as the BBC) to illustrate a recent story about how Best-Korean Best-Students are best-required to wear the bestest hairdo of all time, which used to be known as "The Chinese Smuggler" back in the day a few years ago :

It supposedly depicts a contingent of military leaders. In it we observe :

• Two actual professionals, scrunched in the bottom right corner, their faces clearly depicting, in order from right to left : just how well things are going for the best-army of the best-country in the world and just how fucking drunk one has to get to make it through these parades.
• No less than 7 babes directly visible, plus a couple less tall and less babe-y babes crying behind the Best-Hairdo's Esteemed Neck, and probably a few hidden by His Best-Portliest-Figure. These chicks look like they've just powdered their noses. Heavily.
• Scrunched in the top and far left sections, an indisctinct number of indistinct men of varying indistinct ages. The straggler - breaking out of formation to better expose himself to the gaze of Best-Leader should fortune decide Best-Leader looks behind him - is a middle aged man telling us a story. A story of competitive pressure in which not being a tall babe with a well powdered nose is a serious drawback. Those young athletes up there in the peanut gallery can't all be faggots. Some of them are men, just like I am, just like Best-Kim aspires to be and likes to pretend he is. What's keeping them from forcing ten nine eightⁱ seven six five inches of hot man meat down Best-Kim's Best-Throat ? And moreover, how long will it work ?

It's funny to see capitalism scrunching out of a publicity shot of the best-socialist regime everⁱⁱ, something Obama merely dreams of dreaming of.ⁱⁱⁱ And to top it off the whole thing looks like publicity shots for a musical!

Can't wait for the next act. And incidentally... if anyone is doing this entire "world policing" thing : wouldn't you say that for as long as you're not bothering North Korea bothering anyone else is at best hypocritical ?

I know, I know, you can't mess with the Chinese anymore than a dog can mess with a lion, but still, things are what they are, neh ? What exact privileged interest does China have in Korea that Russia doesn't have in Crimea ? I'm missing something here, aren't I ?

Or perhaps you are.

1. Jesus god Azns already. [↩]
2. Even leaving aside the straggler middle aged guy, why do the girls' faces look a) white to various degrees but b) much whiter than the men's ? This wouldn't be some sort of differentiating pressure of capitalist substance, would it ? I'm sure that the shorter girl with smaller tits and grotesque features stands just as good a chance of participating in best-Kim's best-orgy as any other, no ? [↩]
3. US students must take the same anticonceptional medicine Obama takes, that's a few tweaks away from sporting the same hairdo, wouldn't you say ? [↩]