Bulwer-Lytton
You ever heard of Mssrs Bulwer KG KT OM ONZ GBE AC QSO GCL CC CMM PC ADC(P) & Lytton, esq ? If you're an aspiring writer, whether your strength lay in prose like in the case of the late lord Rochester or in verse like in your own imagination, the odds are that you have, and if you have not it would be to your detriment like in the case of someone who for instance does something that doesn't help them but quite in the contrary hurts them or even it could be said their best interests whichever they may be like for instance a best interest could be a guy at your wedding right, like you're getting married (to a woman!) and if you're traditionalist enough to marry a woman you're probably traditionalist enough to have a best man but say he wasn't from a traditionalist family like yours and so they named him Interest to be special - hey at least it's not Gerbil or Dweezil or somesuch - and so now he's your best Interest it could be said which still has a capital issue but how much can you ask, like in the case of the guy who asked for two fifty for his cabbages but others only asked for one ninety and so he didn't manage to sell any and the roof fell on him because he was selling the cabbage to repair his roof with the proceeds except he didn't sell any and so the roof got bored of staying up unrepaired and took a rest on his head, because he didn't sell any cabbage and yes in case you're wondering I could keep going with this so here's a.
Ok so like totally there's a very important contest for shoemakers, fucksmiths, where they give prizes each year : the famous world renownedi The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest esquire. Allow me to transcribe below one of the winers :
He was waiting for the call seated behind his desk, his right knee bouncing up and down like the piston of a one-cylinder steam engine – the kind old guys restore and stand proudly next to at the county fair hoping someone will stop and ask about it but they never do as the engine thumps and sputters in rhythm like an anxious guy seated behind his desk bouncing his knee up and down like the male figurine in one of those automated darkroom delights where a vaguely hominid bit of plastic pops up and down atop another vaguely hominid bit of plastic like an anxious guy seated behind his desk bouncing his knee up and down like the happy mole during some lazy Sunday afternoon when all the kids are in church and so can't possibly whack at it or moreover at its many holes as it pops in and out of them with an upwards and downwards swing like an anxious guy seated behind his desk bouncing his knee up and down like a periodic geyser run by very complicated and unknown to science oscillatory processes deep in the Earth's crust causing the water or mud or whatever the geyser geysers to geyser up and then fall down again in a spastic movement like an anxious guy seated behind his desk bouncing his knee up and down like an overexcited flea that sucked from the neck of a meth head mere minutes after the last dose causing it to jump up and down vertically without respite like an anxious guy seated behind his desk bouncing his knee up and down like that weight at the fair where guys take the girls with a hammer to make the bell ding except the girls' bells rarely ding but the weight just dangles up and down hopelessly like an anxious guy seated behind his desk bouncing his knee up and down like one of those old gauges of pulmonary promiscuity they used to have at the hospital where they made you blow in the tube and a little ball hopped up and down in the glass like an anxious guy seated behind his desk bouncing his knee up and down like the head of a dirty blonde girl aged about twenty as seen from two cars over at the open air cinema while she's sharing an intimate moment with the driver's crotch her head bobbing up and down like an anxious guy seated behind his desk bouncing his knee up and down like a fake Mexican jumping bean that only goes up and down, not also sideways because it's such a cheap Chinese immitation that they didn't even bother implementing other directions so the bean just goes up and down like an anxious guy seated behind his desk bouncing his knee up and down like the tail of a very excited dog that never was around other dogs growing up and so didn't learn to wag its tail properly instead only bobbing it up and down like an anxious guy seated behind his desk bouncing his knee up and down like some guy trying to come up with new and distinct things that naturally move up and down of their own accord and not being able to think of anything other than urmom.
Congrats to the winners!
———- Remember kids, own works like explained in the Rochester article, it's not just a possessive and so this word now makes sense to you, like something else that makes sense. [↩]
