Jodaeiye Nader az Simin

This thing, billed as A Separationⁱ, won a bunch of awards last year. I have absolutely no idea why : Leila Hatami is very moderately hotⁱⁱ, sort of like that friend of an ex you briefly considered inviting for a threesome that one time you were sort-of drunk but it never really seemed an idea worth pursuing to the point of actually saying anything, even then. And by the next morning you had forgotten all about it - until A Separation that is.

Other than that there's complete bankruptcy of total assetless lack of anything whatsoever. One hour into it, there's been nothing other than personal interaction between idiots. They all call each other "Sir" and "Ma'am" and act as if each and every one of them is equal to each and every other, it's a sickening display of unbearable dumbassery. I had in the past briefly considered visiting Iran (in about the same terms as the threesome) but this film has cured me of the notion. If I wanted to visit Cambridge I'd go to motherfucking Cambridge - at least the idiots there make a little more than fifty bucks per capita per annum.

I kid you not, the entire film is an exercise in establishing personal space. What are we supposed to be, kindergarteners ? I'm sorry, the issues of negotiating personal space have ceased to interest me a good thirty years ago. Themes of interest for me at the moment are the complete revamping of the world monetary system on the general level and individual reeducation through severe corporal punishment, boundless humiliation and mercilessly discussing deep philosophy on the particular level. I couldn't care less about some woman that can't comfortably take a stranger's pants off or some douche who is impressed with "plz not to touch me Mr". Seals talking make more sense to me than this shit.

The only bright note is that when the boring husband guy stands accused of murder the "bail" (really, the judge calls it blood money) is set at 40 million rials (which is roughly 3k dollars) and he doesn't have it. I guess for the cost of an all-inclusive vacation I could go over there and off a coupla people. In fact at two hundred bitcoins a head (if they take Internet funny money in lieu of the world's least valued currency) I could probably start some sort of delicatessen shop. How much would you pay for fresh Iranian salami ? Literally, Iranian.

The foregoing may offend you. That's fine. Socialism offends me. The only moral of the story is that when everyone is equal to everyone else nobody is worth more than the average head of cattle. Bear that in mind, offend me less, lower your chances to end up as salami some day.

1. 2011, by Asghar Farhadi with Leila Hatami. [↩]
2. I checked google for "Leila Hatami naked cox sucks fucks whore bukkake anal DP bimbo tits cunt deepthroat" and I found

   Regarding this issue, a few people are banned from leaving the country. These people have been invited abroad to take part in a ceremony and under the pretext of receiving an award. Then they have been ensnared in certain people's traps.

   Those people, after taking pictures of their baits, forced them to undertake activities and based on the photographs, they have blackmailed their victims and taken them to a place where they shouldn't. Of course, some of these people, after returning to Iran, are banned from leaving the country.

   It is my considered opinion that Gholam Hossein Mohseni-Ejei, Iran's DA fails to deliver. Rule 34, bitch! [↩]