Glengarry Glen Ross

Glengarry Glen Rossⁱ e fara indoiala un film excelent.

Regizorul, James Foley, nu facuse pina la acel moment un film bun, sau macar un film (ceva episod prin Twin Peaks, ceva vanity-cacat cu Madona, chestii de-astea), ceea ce demonstreaza ca nu intotdeauna pedigree-ul se traduce-n victorie, sau ca nu doar pedigree-ul poate aduce victoria, sau asa ceva. O observatie de altfel ironica dat fiind contextul in care se desfasoara povestea.

Adica, ce poveste ? Pai, niste prapaditi de sales traindu-s visul, facind succese, spargind limitele, toata vorbaria aia goala pe care-au importat-o in ultimii ani in spatiul de limba romana niste nulitati triste (in general culese dintre cei ce-au incercat da' n-au reusit sa tina un blog, sau un bordel, sau chiar ambele). Povestea aia, ca-i o poveste cam de natura si structura seductiei asa cum e ea "inteleasa" de putoi virgini. Povestea aia trista.

Ce-i cu ea ? Pai atita-i cu ea ca in 1992 - adica la o vreme cind in Romania intrebarea era daca "sa ne privatizam si noi" si fiecare familie-si considera cu toata seriozitatea optiunile economice intre a deschide ceva lemonade stand si-a continua "sa lucreze" pentru megastatul producator de uriase valori cit sa plateasca un dolar duzina -traznaia asta la care urma sa ajungem si noi douazeci de ani mai tirziu era deja cam moarta-n locul nasterii ei, se preta lumea la deconstructivisme cu ea. Va dati seama, in zece-douazeci de ani putem ajunge din urma SU de-acum douazeci. Succese!

Kevin Spacey isi joaca rolul de calm extraterestru care va duce la frumoase impliniri (de exemplu-n K-PAX) si-o cariera rotunda (chit ca deocamdata-i cam nimeni). Jack Lemmon joaca pina la perfectiune luzarul batrin dar simpatic cu care ne-a obisnuit linga Matthau. Ne ofera aici o varianta ceva mai amara decit, de exemplu, in The Front Page. Ed Harris sustine o excelenta conversatie-n buna traditie a Who's on Firstⁱⁱ cu Alan Arkin (stiati c-a luat un Oscar ?).

Pacino da replica memorabila ca "Futi fetite mici ? Noa si ce ?", chestie care ma uimeste c-a trecut neobservata. Nu c-a trecut neobservata in 1992, pe-atunci lumea inca nu se ticnise de cap pina-n halul in care-a ajuns astazi. Ma uimeste ca a trecut neobservata de exemplu anul trecut sau ceva. In fine, asta-i avantajul culturii, prostu' comun nu stiu de ea si-si poate deci continua viata lor absoluta-n perfecta multumire de sine, da' si cind afla ca el vorbeste-n proza sa te tii uimire. Toata chestia-i parte a unui sales pitch atit de fin incit in prima jumatate nici macar nu-ti dai seama ca tipul vinde, si daca n-ai avea contextul nu ti-ai da probabil seama pina la sfirsit.

Filmul, asa cum este el, e o excelenta introducere in lumea barbatilor. Daca nu stiti ce-i aia, daca vi s-a spus ca sunteti copii si vi se pare injust, nedrept ori neadevarat... vedeti aici, poate va lamureste chestia. Daca vi se pare ca oamenii-s prea duri cu fufletu' dumneavoastra cel neted si moale... dati un ochi, cine stie, poate se-alege ceva de inca un cacat cu ochi. Ca numa' cacatu' ii moale.

1. 1992, de James Foley cu Al Pacino, Kevin Spacey, Jack Lemmon, Alec Baldwin [↩]
2. Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.
   Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.
   Abbott: I certainly do.
   Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.
   Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.
   Costello: You mean funny names?
   Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
   Costello: His brother Daffy.
   Abbott: Daffy Dean...
   Costello: And their French cousin.
   Abbott: French?
   Costello: Goofè.
   Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
   Costello: That's what I want to find out.
   Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
   Costello: Are you the manager?
   Abbott: Yes.
   Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
   Abbott: Yes.
   Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?
   Abbott: Well I should.
   Costello: Well then who's on first?
   Abbott: Yes.
   Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
   Abbott: Who.
   Costello: The guy on first.
   Abbott: Who.
   Costello: The first baseman.
   Abbott: Who.
   Costello: The guy playing...
   Abbott: Who is on first!
   Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.
   Abbott: That's the man's name.
   Costello: That's who's name?
   Abbott: Yes.
   Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
   Abbott: That's it.
   Costello: That's who?
   Abbott: Yes.
   PAUSE
   Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
   Abbott: Certainly.
   Costello: Who's playing first?
   Abbott: That's right.
   Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
   Abbott: Every dollar of it.
   Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
   Abbott: Who.
   Costello: The guy that gets...
   Abbott: That's it.
   Costello: Who gets the money...
   Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
   Costello: Who's wife?
   Abbott: Yes.
   PAUSE
   Abbott: What's wrong with that?
   Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
   Abbott: Who.
   Costello: The guy.
   Abbott: Who.
   Costello: How does he sign...
   Abbott: That's how he signs it.
   Costello: Who?
   Abbott: Yes.
   PAUSE
   Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
   Abbott: No. What is on second base.
   Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
   Abbott: Who's on first.
   Costello: One base at a time!
   Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.
   Costello: I'm not changing nobody!
   Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
   Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
   Abbott: That's right.
   Costello: Ok.
   Abbott: All right.
   PAUSE
   Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?
   Abbott: No. What is on second.
   Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
   Abbott: Who's on first.
   Costello: I don't know.
   Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.
   Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
   Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.
   Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
   Abbott: No. Who's playing first.
   Costello: What's on first?
   Abbott: What's on second.
   Costello: I don't know.
   Abbott: He's on third.
   Costello: There I go, back on third again!
   PAUSE
   Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
   Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?
   Costello: Now who's playing third base?
   Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
   Costello: What am I putting on third.
   Abbott: No. What is on second.
   Costello: You don't want who on second?
   Abbott: Who is on first.
   Costello: I don't know.
   Abbott & Costello Together:Third base!
   PAUSE
   Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?
   Abbott: Sure.
   Costello: The left fielder's name?
   Abbott: Why.
   Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.
   Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
   Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.
   Abbott: Who's playing first.
   Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?
   Abbott: No, What is on second.
   Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
   Abbott: Who's on first!
   Costello: I don't know.
   Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
   PAUSE
   Costello: The left fielder's name?
   Abbott: Why.
   Costello: Because!
   Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield.
   PAUSE
   Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?
   Abbott: Sure.
   Costello: The pitcher's name?
   Abbott: Tomorrow.
   Costello: You don't want to tell me today?
   Abbott: I'm telling you now.
   Costello: Then go ahead.
   Abbott: Tomorrow!
   Costello: What time?
   Abbott: What time what?
   Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
   Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.
   Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?
   Abbott: What's on second.
   Costello: I don't know.
   Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
   PAUSE
   Costello: Gotta a catcher?
   Abbott: Certainly.
   Costello: The catcher's name?
   Abbott: Today.
   Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.
   Abbott: Now you've got it.
   Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.
   PAUSE
   Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.
   Abbott: So they tell me.
   Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
   Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
   Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
   PAUSE
   Abbott: That's all you have to do.
   Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.
   Abbott: Yes!
   Costello: Now who's got it?
   Abbott: Naturally.
   PAUSE
   Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?
   Abbott: Naturally.
   Costello: Who?
   Abbott: Naturally.
   Costello: Naturally?
   Abbott: Naturally.
   Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
   Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.
   Costello: Naturally.
   Abbott: That's different.
   Costello: That's what I said.
   Abbott: You're not saying it...
   Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
   Abbott: You throw it to Who.
   Costello: Naturally.
   Abbott: That's it.
   Costello: That's what I said!
   Abbott: You ask me.
   Costello: I throw the ball to who?
   Abbott: Naturally.
   Costello: Now you ask me.
   Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?
   Costello: Naturally.
   Abbott: That's it.
   Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!
   Abbott: What?
   Costello: I said I don't give a darn!
   Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop. [↩]