Teh purple vagina award

Tuesday, 20 December, Year 3 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

(07:45:00 PM) Unu' :

At the moment, Herb, his wife Maryann, and Maryann's daughter by a previous marriage, Wendy, were relaxing on deck. Maryann, tall, slender, with jet-black hair, had an excellent figure, and didn't mind showing it off wearing the briefest of bikinis. Her bikini was as black as her ebony hair, hiding her dark bush of pubic curls, though the hairs did stick out around the sides of the crotch band. Her tan thighs were long, slender and firm, with no stretch marks. In fact, although the woman was thirty-four, she looked at least ten years younger. Her fingernails and toenails were painted blood red, and her short, midnight hair was in an upsweep.

why cannots you write moar liek tht!11

De ce nu poti sa scrii mai astfel!

(07:46:16 PM) Una : well, probably because i don't blast the shit out of the thesaurus

Pai probabil din cauza ca nu bubui din cacat tezaurul.

(07:46:23 PM) Unu' : lol
(07:46:26 PM) Unu' : moar purpl!
(07:55:46 PM) Unu' :

"Unnnnggghhh!" Maryann gasped as the bloated penile point sank into the wet, sucking depths of her steaming hollow like a mailed fist.

Mariana rigii precum ascutisul penibil umflat se scufunda-n umed, sugind adincimi de-ale poenitei ei aburinde ca un pumn trimis prin posta.

(07:55:59 PM) Una : ew jesus christ
(07:56:40 PM) Una : why do people write these things srsly
(07:56:45 PM) Una : oh
(07:56:52 PM) Una : nobody tells them how bad they are huh
(07:56:54 PM) Una : that sucks

Ew Gizas. De ce scriu oameni chestiile astea serios. O. Nimeni nu le spune cit is de naspa, hm ? Aia suge.

(07:56:59 PM) Unu' : ya and also i imainge
(07:57:02 PM) Unu' : it kleeps them occupied.

Da si de asemenea imi inpichiui ii trine ocupati.

(07:57:16 PM) Una : they coulda made me a sammich

Mi-ar putea face un Samuel Michael.

(08:00:52 PM) Unu' : guess the next phrase

Ghiceste fraza urmatoare.

(08:01:14 PM) Una : gurrrppppllllosh
(08:01:18 PM) Una : she said
(08:01:32 PM) Una : her murky hair waving in the flippant wind

Gurrrppplllosh zise ea, parul naclait unduindu-i-se-n vintul care-si baga pula.

(08:01:39 PM) Unu' : ok, sidequestions
(08:01:44 PM) Unu' : 1. is the word phallus used ?\

Ok, intrebari ajutatoare. 1. Se foloseste cuvintul falus ?

(08:01:51 PM) Una : yes

(08:01:56 PM) Unu' : 2. truncheon ?

2. Pulan ?

(08:02:00 PM) Una : hahahaha
(08:02:04 PM) Una : yes

(08:02:07 PM) Unu' : 3. quicksand ?

Nisipuri miscatoare ?

(08:02:12 PM) Una : ?!
(08:02:16 PM) Una : yes?

(08:02:20 PM) Unu' : 4. causeway.

Poteca cauzasa.

(08:02:25 PM) Una : good god
(08:02:27 PM) Una : ye

(08:02:41 PM) Unu' : 5. make a phallus-truncheon-quicksand-causeway sex phrase :D
(08:04:35 PM) Unu' : my phallic truncheon is geting impatient.

Fa o fraza falus-pulan-nisipurimiscatoare-potecacauzasa.
Pulanu' meu falnic se impacienteaza.

(08:04:52 PM) Una : she groaned as his phallus slammed into her like a truncheon she had once seen at the museum of natural history, except that it felt a lot smaller than she would have imagined the ancient weapon would be, and there probably weren't any handcrafted decorations on the member thrusting into her like a car that fell into quicksand after swerving on a traffic-congested causeway.

Ea rigii cum falusu' lui o pleznea inauntru ca un pulan pe care-l vazuse odata la muzeul Antipa, doar ca parea mult mai mic decit crezuse ca va fi stravechea arma, si probabil ca nu se gaseau bijuterii handmade pe madularul care se batea de ea ca o masina cazuta in nisipuri miscatoare dupa ce intrase in derapaj pe o poteca naravasa.

(08:04:57 PM) Unu' :

Her fingers squeezed more tightly around the base of Herb's phallus, hoping to prevent a deeper entry. For the moment the man did relax, stopping with only the enlarged head of his truncheon in the quicksand grip of her vaginal causeway.

(08:05:17 PM) Unu' : vaginal causeway bitch.

Poteca cauzasa vaginala, catea.

(08:05:44 PM) Una : headdesk

Capu' mesei.

(08:05:47 PM) Unu' : lol
(08:05:56 PM) Unu' : ima blog this.

Textul in discutie se numeste Step-Daughter Initiation si este daca doriti o completare a studiului prozei purpurii. Asta ca sa nu va imaginati ca teoria aia naiva cum ca daca te apuci si rescrii un text "in cuvintele tale" ai produs ceva obiect de valoare, eventual proportionala cu deviatia standard a cuvintelor folosite a aparut odata cu Internetul. N-a aparut odata cu Internetul, a aparut odata cu cealalta traznaie, aia care propune ca poti "educa" toata pulimea.

Sau ca ti-ai dori sa incerci asa ceva.

Category: Cuvinte Sfiinte
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7 Responses

  1. Omfg call teh RIAA

  2. What is this I don't even.

    You're such a nigger.

  3. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    3
    Mircea Popescu 
    Tuesday, 11 September 2012

    Nigger ii ma-ta, vorba lu' Veronica.

  1. Teh purple vagina award pe Trilema - Un blog de Mircea Popescu-...

    Se face cu dedicatie speciala pentru toti traducatorii de beletristica.

    PENTRU CA SI EU SUNT TRADUCATOR DE BELETRISTICA.

    Pai ce pula....

  2. [...] - murmura el ? Inovatia stilistica fiind ca-n loc de virgula linioara ? Ce facem aici, concursul Pizda Vinata generatia urmatoare ? Era noapte de-acum şi şoseaua părea imaterială, îndepărtată. Ea se [...]

  3. [...] The stunted individuation doesn't just stop with adding pointless squigglies to latin letters*. They also translate expressions. Like, you know, "the battle dwarves do 300 damage" becomes "Piticii de batalie fac 300 de stricaciune", roughly about as hysterical as "The warlike midgets make 300 of breakings." Because while Romanian is this language which happily treats a string in any other language as if it were a badly written Romanian string (so no, there's no difference between people speaking Dutch and iliterate gypsies speaking whatever bar-bar-bar they do, as far as the Romanian language is concerned), iliterate and acultural fucktards imagine that they really need to translate things, ending up with a sort of Romanian that works just like bad French. (For more on this lulz, see here.) [...]

  4. [...] overbear. [↩]The only people who talk like these people I ever encountered inhabited bad fanfic rather than planet Earth. [↩]You've seen American Beauty, yes ? Thora Bitch, same idea. [...]

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