Special rules for harem scrabble in foreign languages

Thursday, 19 March, Year 12 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

Have you noticed the unifying characteristic of all games left behind since before the Great Pantsuitingi, namely that they're all conceived around an effort to sort out power dynamics in a group ? Welll... the harem doesn't really have this problem. I own all the girls, they know I own them, there's no need to figure out whatever inane nonsense two-subbies couples use as a proxy for the one, fundamental, all-consuming question of their sad, miserable quasi-lives : who should top for the evening.ii Consequently our goals are with some regularity somewhat different.

Take for example Scrabble. Now Scrabble is one of the most inane human activities ever devised, perhaps up there with chess or bible study. Nevertheless, in young children, very simple people, and they trying to learn a foreign language it has its definite utility. So we play Arabic scrabble or whatever, but with a custom set of rules. Want to know what they are ?

Sure, I'll tell you. But first... well, let's make this interactive, why the hell not. Take a moment to write them down, what you think Harem Scrabble rules might be.

Then you can read the real set, and... whatever, I don't know, derive some kind of benefit off it or whatever. It's just a game.

Done ?

Aite, so then :

  • A method to look up proposed words is available, a dictionary in some format. Anyone may at any time ask for a word to be looked up. If the word doesn't exist, they lose 1 point.iii
  • Everyone plays with their letters on display.iv On everyone's turn, everyone proposes possible layouts. If the layout chosen by whoever's turn it is was proposed by someone else, that someone else gets 1/3 of the points while the player whose turn it was gets the other 2/3. Rounding is in the owner's (player whose turn it is) favour and very obvious proposals aren't usually claimed.
  • Turns end rather by consensus than by timing (this being a major problem with Scrabble otherwise).
  • Games usually end with "suck my cock so I can fuck her" typical harem mouth-cunt-asshole game of thirds, but in fairness that has relatively little to do with Scrabble per se, most things end this way with us.

Okay, so now you know. Aren't you glad ? The score for yest's game was 150 - 143 - 75, if you're curious. The Scrabble game, I mean. I had fun.

———
  1. An event of unclear occurence -- like in a Kafka novel you know it definitely must've happened at some point ; you just can't pinpoint exactly when. Not for lack of trying though. []
  2. This is exactly what it is, though. The "insane" arguments "of some married people" are strictly and precisely this -- two subbies in a box vying over who may sub. []
  3. This can scale up with linguistic familiarity. []
  4. Harem nudity ; apparently it goes further than you had imagined! []
Category: Lifespiel
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