I wanna release a whirlpool of negative conclusions about myself born from the induced introspection, but I'll save you the ballad. I'm really fucking tired and my vision is so blurry I have to re-blink intermittently to read what you wrote. I'm glad I am, though. This stuff is worth staying up for at noon after a sleepless night.

I feel like I've been given a magnifying glass over the life I've always wanted but never begun to deserve. Maybe once I blow a 12-gauge through the skull of my intentional stupidity and adolescent laziness and worthlessness, I will have the right to aspire to this. Maybe I never will. I'm a retarded kid, I don't know these things yet.

When I was younger I used to daydream about learning how to become the future me from conversations with people like you, then I realized just how expensive time is, and how much of it I need to personally invest into my growth instead of being spoon-fed the fruits of invaluable long-term experiences.

I'm glad that Trilema exists, and one day, I wanna have the balls required to make my way toward reproducing it.