The famous roasted bird -> soup -> salata de boeuf transform

Sunday, 13 August, Year 9 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

I'm sure you like to snack. So do I. I suspect so does everyone.

For which purpose you have the Pringles and the Hersheys, the whatsnots and the whatsits scattered all over the house ? That's how it goes in the modern household, from what I've seen so far : prepackaged industrial "foods" of sorts, stuff built on the alt-misogynistico-fantastic paradigm of TO-CE-HD.

The traditional household is somewhat different : there's not so much packaging because there's not so much factory-produced crap. Instead, the source of snacks in the traditional household are... leftovers! Some people even go so far as to deliberately design meals for the purpose of having leftovers, and then using those leftovers in other meals! I don't mean, feed the bread crumbs to the locally captive pig, to be eaten again as bacon later. I mean something more along the lines of :

Day 1. You... acquire (sometimes you buy, but generally you either shoot yourself or else barter with someone who has) a nice large bird in the morning. It could be a respectably sized duck, or a well fattened goose, or a turkey, or I suppose an ostrich though I've never tried that. You twist its neck if it's still alive, and scald, and pluck, and gut and roast this bird whole. Mmmm, rosemary.

That'll be either your lunch or dinner, depending on the local customs and your lord's inclinations that day. The roast is carved at the table, and the remainder, which is to say the carcass with all the meat that wasn't cut off, and perhaps the potatoes, asparagus or whatever other adequate veggies were left over go into the fridge for the

Day 2. You dump the whole carcass into a large pot full of boiling water. You let it boil until the meat nigh on comes off the bones by itself, at which point you add a coupla whole onions, some carrots, maybe some peas, laurel leaves, you know, things that go into soup. Three kinds of pepper, some salt, etcetera. If the bird was very fatty you can skim the soup. When you're just about ready to serve you add some pasta, or some rice, or both, depending on inclination.

This delicious soup is served with lemon, and perhaps sour cabbagei on the side. The bones get either thrown away or offered to the dogs (if they're intelligent enough to not hurt themselves with boiled bird bones). The liquid, strained, is bottled and fridged, to be used later on (but not too much later) as a base for sauces. The meat that still escaped ingurgitation on this second day, apart from the bones as it finds itself now, is plated and fridged for

Day 3. You make mayo, out of raw eggs and olive oil. By hand. You boil some veggies (potatoes, peas, carrots, whatever else you like and in your estimation goes with this), you cut the meat into small bits, you mix it with the veggies, and you pour the mayo on top. Congratulations, you've just made what in Romanian is known as "salata de boeuf", which would be "beef salad" in two different languages, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever because I've never seen it made out of anything but fowl.

This delicious spread goes exceedingly well on (homemade!) bread, allowing you to sandwich your whole way through the third day (and fourth, really, unless your fridge's broken).

So there you go, a short intro to "how to hunt twice a week and have food every day". The average 10kg bird will eat up about 10 eggs, 100ml of oil, 10 kgs worth of vegetables and roughly 10 hours of slavegirl time over the next three days (if they know what they're doing), producing a very respectable 100`000 to 150`000 calories or so when the trims are all counted in. That's enough to feed a small army, which is very advantageous, considering that's exactly what "traditional household" means in any practical sense : a small army.

Bon Apres-Tit!

  1. Ideally you have a 200+ liter fermentation vat going in the cella, loaded cabbage salt and water, like civilised people. []
Category: Trilenciclopedia
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14 Responses

  1. You forgot the most important part! When the roast emerges from the oven, the pope's nose is severed for the lord's sampling pleasure. Unless you got an ostrich...

  2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Sunday, 13 August 2017

    Well, I just gave a very general outline.

  3. Well, this is Trilema. The difference between general outlines, play, and proclamations from on high usually takes until the third reading.

  4. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Sunday, 13 August 2017

    Lol. From what I hear this is so.

  5. Ah, so you do come from the bourgeois! It has meat!

    Where I grew up it was a vegetarian recipe.

    In the entire Bucharests in piss.

  6. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Wednesday, 16 August 2017

    Vegetarian beef salad ?

  7. No meat in it. At all. I've never seen this food done with meat in it.

  8. my friend is woking on Proof of Steak

    Proof Of Sparkle


    Wordpress exchange - I can change the url..

    make this vege coin stuff..

    Proof of Moo

  9. I knew this with... beef! Never ate it made with fowl in Romania actually. Nevertheless, I ate it as "Russian salad" made by Lithuanians (mostly with ham iirc and sometimes with sour cream instead of mayo) and as "Olivier salad" made by Russians (with all sorts of meat). I think in most cases though the ingredients (and esp. whether meat or what meat or no meat) varied depending on what people had around (or rather what they did not have) so who knows what is this salad supposed to be - I think it's more likely to be some mixture of the leftovers from 7 roasted suckling pigs, 10 whole ducks, 5 ostriches etc - one needs to just go back in time enough for that.

  10. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 17 August 2017

    @aetc Apai daca traiesti printe soysexuali...

    @ravi Seriously, paulo sex change ?

    @Diana Coman Salade de boeuf chiar exista in repertoriul academiei franceze, ie cu capere, oua fierte, chestii.

  11. Muy sexual y mucho sexual.

  12. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 17 August 2017

    Da, da, la borcan.

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