Further correspondence revealed that "one has to be a member to participate" and that in order to become a member one has to send 6`000 colones (about ten bucks fiddy) to
Disk Less Terminal Sociedad Anónima. (their 'official' business name)
Banco de Costa Rica
Cta Corriente: 010-01-001-0286593-9
Cta Cliente: 152-0100102865939-3
Cédula Jurídica: 3-101-489560
Monto : 6,000 colones por persona.
Detalle : Cita Entrevista
150mts norte de terminal de caribe, frente a encomiendas trali,
and lo and behold, there I sit in a cab quarter mile behind a (cheap) bus terminal, in between the parking lot of a very modest business (the enconomienda in question) on the right side of the road and a selection of three chicken coops on the left. At this juncture we discuss the likely set-up and I propose it's a case of dork-and-his-14yo-fiance pretending like that's enough. The girl calls them up, to obtain better directions, passes the phone to the driver, who confirms he's got it. So we're going ? No, no, we're here, there they are. He gestures to his left and indeed, there stands late 30s dork in his open floral shirt and ponytail.iii
So we cross the road -- why did the master and his slavegirl in six inch red heels cross the road ? -- to be welcomed to an unbelievably steep incline and a selection of 6 to 20 inch steps. Yes, variable height steps. Just like that, what, problem ? I point out to the guy that it can't possibly be the case all that many people come here, and next thing I know we're in.
But the thing I ended up in... how to do it justice ? I can scarcely see how I could. The fabled Casona del Sado was at least an apartment, intended for use by a couple of people. It had insufficient space badly partitioned, yes, but if it were to be sold it'd have sold as an apartment nevertheless. This "esquinas de mazmorra" however was literally, without exageration of any kind, three something by three something. The floor space did not rise above a dozen square feet. It was a chicken coop, what!
Inside this chicken coop one could find, in no particular order, a rather mousy 38 yo woman of undistinguished featuresiv in a see-through top, about fifty to a hundred glasses of the cheapest available kind stashed in a rack taking up most of one wallv, a 4 x 4 foot "photo studio" hole consisting of a square mat in the center where the dork in question no doubt shoots horrible gonzo porn of the misfortunate woman and any naive / clueless girlies in their exploratory phase he may lure over, some lengths of rope hanging from a coat rack in a corner, one table with some audio equipment on it, a few chairs one had to slide by like in a camper van and bad lighting in great thermodynamic excess hanging from all the walls.
I asked if that's the whole thing, they explained it is because... no, get this, because "they're going to Russia" -- don't ask me, I have no fucking idea what strange variety speak this is supposed to be -- at which point I stood up, plainly stated "this meeting is now over", and walked out.
I have not the first inkling of a clue as to why exactly dude with desperate girlfriend prefers to misrepresent their immature marital situationvi, just like I have not the first inkling of a clue as to why exactly dude with a (small) garage and a hobby prefers to misrepresent the situation into "citas" and assorted bullshit. But I can promise you that in exchange for a very moderate penny you too could spend a few minutes or however long you have the stomach for in the company of people so incredibly poor and so unmitigatedly stupid it beats anything anyone could deliberately engineer out of any conceivable body of water.
There are worse ways to spend two bitcents.———
- Such as string matching "la esquina", a very likely indication of Argentine fucktardation. [↩]
- Costa Rica does not use the addressing system common in the rest of the world. As you'd expect, their alternative doesn't work nearly as well. This does not seem to deter them. [↩]
- "Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything! I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a pony tail and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends, I'd have to get orgy friends... Naw, I'm not ready for it." [↩]
- Whose eyes did quite readily betray that she knew, and that she could tell I knew. "Her" dork had just been judged insufficient by the world, for the five billionth trillionth time. In the eye of a stranger, in the space of thirty seconds, her schmuck was once again weighted and once again counted less than the chicken feed that'd reproduce him.
I would have -- because you're supposed to drop a losing hand when you figure out it can't win, not when you figure out you can afford to cut loose your "investments" in it.
And no, I wouldn't have taken her in even had she done that. Too old, too short, too waistless and besides -- what the fuck was she doing in that hole in the first place ? Teenyboppers may be picked up from raw sewage, washed off and then used as new ; but forty year old women may not. They're supposed to know better than to fall into the latrine in the first place.
Yet even so, even as she would have doubtless chased after a disinterested, departing car, barefoot and naked, begging ; even as she would have collapsed in a hysterical, writhing pile crying in the road and even as she'd have had to drag her sorry carcass back to the chicken coop and confront the dork, and her imaginary "betrayal" of his inexistent presence -- imaginary not because we're doing a counterfactual, but because the "angriff Steiners befehl" was imaginary through and through in the first place and therefore nothing there to betray in any case -- even so she'd have been better off. She would have been. Yes.
It is better to speak the truth than to dig oneself deeper in the shit. There can be no question as to this. Truth sets one free, not the inept "our democracy" of marginal women that tolerated subhuman men for way too long. [↩]
- It is still to this day a mystery to me -- what the fuck would they be doing with that many glasses, if they weren't racked up they'd have completely covered the floor! [↩]
- No dude, you and your fiance aren't "in a BDSM relationship", fucking spare me. [↩]